There are more new towns nowadays, it is more important to include public parks and sports for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sports #individuals #time

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It is clear that

Linking Words

there are many towns in the world . So , the

existance

Correct your spelling

existence

of public gardens and sports for

people

Use synonyms

is essential to spend their

liesure

Correct your spelling

leisure

time

Use synonyms

. I agree with

this

Linking Words

issue completely and I will explain my own idea about

this

Linking Words

plan in

further

Linking Words

paragraphs.

To begin

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with , the number of towns is increasing and

people

Use synonyms

need more facilities for their free

time

Use synonyms

. As you know technology has improved and governments can provide modern places for their own citizens. Actually , it is right of

people

Use synonyms

to have a place for spending

thei

Correct your spelling

their

the

time

Use synonyms

after work.

For instance

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, they work all days

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a week and they want to relax at weekends.

Hence

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, they prefer to go to the park and

breath

Replace the word

breathe

show examples

fresh air and hear to sounds of birds for peace.

On the other hand

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, in terms of psychology , children must play in the courtyard to free

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

enegy

Correct your spelling

energy

Also

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play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

with others is crucial for their communication in their lives.

Thus

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, it has

Correct article usage

an affect

show examples

affect

Correct your spelling

effect

show examples

on their future at school

as well as

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. In the meantime , because of

improvement

Correct article usage

the improvement

show examples

of modern society ,

people

Use synonyms

have to multi-task and almost most

people

Use synonyms

do not

enough

Add a missing verb

have enough

show examples

time

Use synonyms

for cooking. So , they have to eat fast food and

it is clear that

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fatty food leads to health problems. Since fats

Change the verb form

are

show examples

harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

body

Add an article

the body

show examples

and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

causes

Correct subject-verb agreement

cause

show examples

high weight.

Therefore

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, it is necessary to create a lot of gyms for exercise in free

time

Use synonyms

for

people

Use synonyms

In addition

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, since there are many cars in the street , pollution is extended,

Hence

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

need fresh air for breathing and more facilities for their activities.

To sum up

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, there are many cities and

this

Linking Words

issue is

continueing

Correct your spelling

continuing

By contrast

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

need more places ,

such

Linking Words

as public parks and gyms for their leisure

time

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is an important

isseue

Correct your spelling

issue

in modern society.

Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on Mon Jun 17 2024

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task achievement

While you have addressed the topic and provided a clear standpoint, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main idea and its supporting details. For example, focus one paragraph on the need for public parks and another on the significance of sports facilities.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical organization by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. This will improve the flow and make the essay easier to follow. Review the transitions between different ideas to make them smoother.

language

Some grammatical errors and inappropriate word choices interrupted the flow of your ideas. For example, 'existance' should be 'existence', 'leisure' should be 'leisure', and 'free they energy' should be 'free their energy'. Review your essay to ensure there are no such mistakes to improve clarity.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame your argument effectively.

task achievement

Examples were provided to support the main points, such as mentioning the importance of children playing outside for psychological reasons.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

communal space
recreational activities
community bonding
social interactions
physical exercise
physical and mental health
aesthetic appeal
potential residents
community events
sense of identity
sense of belonging
environmental sustainability
reduce carbon footprints
habitats for wildlife
serene environment
improve the quality of life
relax and unwind

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There are more new towns nowadays, it is more important to include public parks and sports for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Crime rates will fall is advance in technology, make it easier to detect and prevent crime to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The recent back-and-forth debate and policy reversal over the use of face masks to prevent the spread of Covid-19. What is your opinion? are you for or against wearing face mask? Why?