Write about the following topic. Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Purchasing items,
for example
, books, air tickets, and groceries online is becoming common in society.
Although
, it may lack
of
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apply
show examples
delivery on time, I believe, it brings more positive impacts on people's lives because of
convenience
Correct article usage
the convenience
show examples
and variety
types
Change preposition
of types
show examples
of
certain
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a certain
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. The main disadvantage of buying online might be delays
of
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in
show examples
delivery.
That is
to
say
Add a comma
say,
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sometimes transporting
products
to certain
location
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locations
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may be a difficult task for drivers
due to
dramatic changes
on
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in
show examples
weather or long
distance
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distances
show examples
. Owing to these problems, drivers may be late for
particular
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a particular
show examples
appointed time.
For instance
, in Russia, plenty of delivery services
has
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have
show examples
occured issues on the road
due to
poor conditions during
journey
Add an article
the journey
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.
As a result
, it would
delay
Wrong verb form
be delayed
show examples
for 2 or more days.
However
, despite these challenges,
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
market brings more opportunities rather than drawbacks. The primary advantage of
this
could be convenience
on
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in
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purchasing
products
. Since all applications are developed frequently, customers are able to purchase items conveniently.
In other words
, it does not require a huge amount of time
searching
Wrong verb form
to search for
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products
because people can find specific
page
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pages
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dedicated to
print
Wrong verb form
printing
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of name of
product
Add an article
the product
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.
Furthermore
, it gives an opportunity to search
other
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for other
show examples
alternatives
of
Change preposition
to
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things if there
will
Verb problem
is
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not
be
Verb problem
apply
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a particular kind of thing.
That is
to say, offline stores represent
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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products
than online
due to
unlimited pages on
platform
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the platform
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.
For example
, even grocery shops tend to
craete
Correct your spelling
create
their own application
due to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number of
products
that cannot be in inside. In conclusion, in spite of
instantenously
Correct your spelling
instantaneously
occured
Correct your spelling
occurring
delays, in my opinion, e-markets provide more opportunities to their customers,
such
as
purchasin
Correct your spelling
purchasing
purchasin'
without going errands physically and
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
versions of
particular
Add an article
a particular
the particular
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
.
Submitted by mako_09.01 on

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task response
You have clearly responded to the question, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping. However, the discussion of disadvantages is somewhat limited. Try to balance your arguments by providing more detailed points and examples for both sides.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are clumsy or unclear. For instance, "Owing to these problems, drivers may be late for particular appointed time." Consider revising for clarity. Additionally, work on your sentence variety to enhance readability.
task response
You have included relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • product selection
  • geographic limitations
  • price comparisons
  • physical inspection
  • customer satisfaction
  • delivery delay
  • online fraud
  • scams
  • trusted websites
  • notable disadvantages
  • increasingly popular
  • beneficial method
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