IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

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Purchasing items,
for example
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, books, air tickets, and groceries online is becoming common in society.
Although
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, it may lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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delivery on time, I believe, it brings more positive impacts on people's lives because of
convenience
Correct article usage
the convenience
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 and variety
types
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of types
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 of
certain
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a certain
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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. The main disadvantage of buying online might be delays
of
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in
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 delivery.
That is
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 to
say
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say,
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 sometimes transporting
products
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 to certain
location
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locations
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 may be a difficult task for drivers
due to
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 dramatic changes
on
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in
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 weather or long
distance
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distances
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. Owing to these problems, drivers may be late for
particular
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a particular
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 appointed time.
For instance
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, in Russia, plenty of delivery services
has
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have
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 occured issues on the road
due to
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 poor conditions during
journey
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the journey
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.
As a result
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, it would
delay
Wrong verb form
be delayed
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 for 2 or more days.
However
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, despite these challenges,
online
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the online
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 market brings more opportunities rather than drawbacks. The primary advantage of
this
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 could be convenience
on
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in
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 purchasing
products
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. Since all applications are developed frequently, customers are able to purchase items conveniently.
In other words
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, it does not require a huge amount of time
searching
Wrong verb form
to search for
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products
Use synonyms
 because people can find specific
page
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pages
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 dedicated to
print
Wrong verb form
printing
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 of name of
product
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the product
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.
Furthermore
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, it gives an opportunity to search
other
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for other
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 alternatives
of
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to
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 things if there
will
Verb problem
is
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 not
be
Verb problem
apply
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a particular kind of thing.
That is
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 to say, offline stores represent
less
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fewer
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products
Use synonyms
 than online
due to
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 unlimited pages on
platform
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the platform
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.
For example
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, even grocery shops tend to
craete
Correct your spelling
create
 their own application
due to
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 number of
products
Use synonyms
 that cannot be in inside. In conclusion, in spite of
instantenously
Correct your spelling
instantaneously
occured
Correct your spelling
occurring
 delays, in my opinion, e-markets provide more opportunities to their customers,
such
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 as
purchasin
Correct your spelling
purchasing
purchasin'
 without going errands physically and
varity
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variety
 versions of
particular
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a particular
the particular
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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.

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task response
You have clearly responded to the question, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping. However, the discussion of disadvantages is somewhat limited. Try to balance your arguments by providing more detailed points and examples for both sides.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are clumsy or unclear. For instance, "Owing to these problems, drivers may be late for particular appointed time." Consider revising for clarity. Additionally, work on your sentence variety to enhance readability.
task response
You have included relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • product selection
  • geographic limitations
  • price comparisons
  • physical inspection
  • customer satisfaction
  • delivery delay
  • online fraud
  • scams
  • trusted websites
  • notable disadvantages
  • increasingly popular
  • beneficial method
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