Many people believe that they should spend money to enjoy life at present. Others however, think they should save it for the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays, people have different perceptions about enjoying life.
While
some people are of the opinion that, the money they earn should be spent to live life to the fullest, others argue that they should accumulate their funds for a better tomorrow. In this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the latter view.
First of all, people who burn all their earnings for happiness, believe that they should live in the moment. This
culture is highly prevalent in the west
, where the slogan “work hard, party harder” was born, which means, Capitalize word
West
work
during the weekdays and have fun over the weekends. Fix the infinitive
to work
For example
, when I was working in the United Kingdom, I hardly heard anyone speak about saving money for the future; they rather spend on partying every week or travelling once a month. Moreover
, they don’t believe in saving because, their government has several benefits for them after retirement on health, public transportation and bi-weekly pension schemes.
On the other hand
, investing for tomorrow has its own perks as it makes one independent. With the advancements of
technology, everybody is replaceable at their workplace. In Change preposition
in
such
scenarios, having backup funds is highly essential for basic survival. Moreover
, in case of any health emergency, either for self
or among family members, these savings will come to the rescue. Correct your spelling
oneself
For instance
, I personally lost my job due to
recession
and did not find a new one for the next six months. Since I had been saving all Correct article usage
the recession
this
while
, I was able to get through the tough situation without asking anyone for help. In addition
, it is always necessary to save for the next generations as it provides them with good
education which is highly necessary for their successful career ahead.
In conclusion, even though instant gratification might provide joy Add an article
a good
in
that moment, I believe in delayed gratification where one is not only Change the preposition
at
self sufficient
Add a hyphen
self-sufficient
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
has a vision for their
future generations.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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task achievement
Your essay successfully discusses both views and provides your opinion, which is great. However, try to delve deeper into each point, perhaps by exploring additional arguments or counterarguments. This will make your essay more comprehensive and nuanced.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay is well-structured and easy to follow, it might benefit from slightly more explicit signposting. For example, phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'In contrast,' and 'In conclusion,' were used effectively but can be used even more precisely to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You have done a good job of presenting a balanced view of both sides of the argument and then clearly stating your own position.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear framework for your essay.