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In some countries, parents are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending thier kids to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #thier #kids #school
In some countries, parents are choosing to teach children themselves at home
instead
 of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages? Nowadays, in certain nations, some parents opt to educate their children at home rather than enrolling them in
offline
 schools. One of the main advantages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
offline
 schools is you can communicate with other people. So because of
this
 you can find your own friends and have a joy with them.
For example
 in my academy, I have made many close friends among Russian and Kazakh which has enriched my social life.
However
, traditional schools
also
 have their disadvantages.
For instance
, large class sizes can limit individual attention from teachers.
Additionally
, some parents prefer homeschooling because it allows them to maintain greater control over their child's education and moral upbringing.
But
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Furthermore
, students may face bullying or other negative social experiences, which can affect their mental and emotional well-being. In conclusion, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more advantages and disadvantages of teaching
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
offline
 and online.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
 I believe that
offline
 school is more affect than online academies.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
The essay lacks a thorough discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling. More points should be introduced, such as flexibility in the curriculum, personalized learning, and potential social isolation for homeschooled children.
coherence cohesion
There are some sentences that could benefit from more precise language. For instance, replace ‘offline schools’ with ‘traditional schools’ consistently. Also, consider explaining what you mean by ‘offline’ and ‘online’ distant learning more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer conclusion with a summary of the key points discussed and your final stance. This would strengthen your argument and provide a sense of closure to your essay.
task achievement
The personal example makes the point about making friends relatable and vivid. Using real-life experiences can help make an argument more persuasive.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets the context effectively for the reader by explaining the situation regarding homeschooling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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