Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays more and more rural people worldwide leave villages and move to big cities. Many individuals think it is not positive if lots of villagers migrate to urban cities. In
this
essay, I will discuss the negative side of this
trend by providing examples of its impact on agriculture and organic produce.
According to
the latest news, there has been a decline in agricultural production. One of the factors could be the migration of people from the countryside to urban areas. This
trend created a reduction in agricultural labor which led to a worsening in the quality of natural products
. For example
, due to
the robotisation practice, there was a recent increase in the unemployment rate in rural areas of Kazakhstan. As a result
, thousands of customers recently showed their complaints regarding new milk products
such
as cheese , milk , cottage cheese, and sour cream.
In the last
50 years, plenty of factories and farms have manufactured their output products
in a more unnatural and unhealthy way for humans. One of the examples could be the scandal about the company Nestle which used harmful chemicals to boost their profit and such
behavior is very common among big businesses. To illustrate, many have noticed that cow or pig meat
is not as tasty as before. Recent studies revealed that it is because factories raised animals with pills and special injections for fast growth. This
practice resulted in many diseases both for farm animals and humans. Moreover
, many complained that this
also
ruined the taste of meat
, and its quality and resulted in the decline in meat
sales nationwide.
In conclusion, the migration of rural people to urban places has a deep impact not only on agriculture but also
on public health. In my opinion, this
has more negative effects on society than positive as illustrated by examples of the production of milk products
and the recent degradation of the quality of meat
.Submitted by sa_artek on
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task response
Make sure to clearly define your stance in the introduction. Begin by explicitly stating whether you believe the trend is positive or negative before delving into the specifics.
task response
In the second paragraph, the point about agricultural decline due to migration could be made more explicit and directly tied to the argument about the negative impact on agriculture.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay flows well, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion. This will make the argumentation smoother, e.g., 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' etc.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a solid structure, but to elevate it further, you might consider adding a counter-argument briefly and then refuting it, which can strengthen your position.
task response
Clarify your examples and connect them directly to the main point you are making in each paragraph. Make sure each example illustrates a specific negative consequence of rural-urban migration as clearly as possible.
task response
The essay provides relevant specific examples, making the argument strong and relatable.
coherence and cohesion
The main points are clearly supported with evidence and reasoning, showing a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.