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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Technological development in earlier times brought more changes to the life of ordinary people then recent technological development have brought? Do you agree or disagree

#development #times #changes #life #people
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These days,
technology
 has been developing too much, and
this
 trend won't be stopped, but will be evolving faster than today, and affecting enormously.
However
, some people believe that
technology
 in past had more alternatives for real people than now.
However
, I take issue with
this
 idea, for currently, we cannot live without
this
 equipment
conversely
 past living;
furthermore
, these devices are regular tools, so we cannot sense. On the one hand, when we transfer to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 world without
technology
,
then
 we cannot survive in
this
 situation because
technology
 is the main part of our life, yet the older generation can live really well in
this
 position in spite of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 having good influence in the way of living.
For example
, when we go to nature for 3 days without television after one day we are really tired
instead
 of happy.
In contrast
, people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 lived 100 years ago when they watched TV liked it, but life without TV
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 flowed.
On the other hand
, our surroundings are full of
technology
, and become regular, so we do not feel the effect of them is extremely high. To illustrate, we get up, call, and do our work with our cell phones
also
, we control our house from the office by Internet, and another example.
As a result
, we cannot understand the device's work, but when we do not have it,
then
 we understand it. In conclusion, with the reasons mentioned above, I think the effect of
technology
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
during
time
Correct determiner usage
this time
show examples
 is higher than past because following life without it is a big lack.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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General
Ensure that your main points are fully developed and supported with specific examples. This gives your argument more weight and clarity, ensuring your message is understood and impactful.
General
Pay attention to the word choice and sentence structure, some sentences are unclear which affects the overall readability of the essay.
General
You have provided an introduction and conclusion which frame your essay well.
General
Your argument that technology's role is more pervasive now than in the past is clear and understandable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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