The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decades. This has made oversea travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
At
this
moment we are witnessing the comeback of international travelling, after the sudden pause during the hight
of COVID-19 spreads. Following the rise of flight prices during the pandemic, costs were immediately in a constant drop right after the restriction was lifted. Correct your spelling
height
This
recent decrease picks up the general flying trend in the last
couple of years, in
which Change preposition
apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
means taking a trip abroad is getting more affordable and convinient
than ever before. Correct your spelling
convenient
Such
ease in going around the globe has always been helpful not only for tourists, but also
for businessmen, family members separated by the state borders, and international students. Contrary to popular perception, however
, this
increase of
the international flow of people may likely Change preposition
in
to
bring problems to local communities. We will now investigate Fix the infinitive
apply
this
contrasting points Correct determiner usage
these
further
.
Pointing out the positive aspects from
Change preposition
of
this
lower commodity price has never been difficult. The most obvious example is transnational trades that sees
lesser limitations in conducting their businesses. International students are Correct subject-verb agreement
see
also
another "big players
" in the globalized world that will Fix the agreement mistake
player
be
highly Verb problem
apply
benefited
from the trend, for they would Wrong verb form
benefit
have been
able to take trips to their home countries or other places that would inform Wrong verb form
be
for
their Change preposition
apply
researches
. Related to Fix the agreement mistake
research
this
is family members who live in different states, be it for work or study. They would be able to arrange their meetings more flexibly on top of having more chances to meet each other.
On the other hand
, the increase of capital goods flowing into one country in effect of the rise of business projects and thus
, tourists, may further
push the economy of the said country into a monopolized, tourist based
one. As it is generally known, Add a hyphen
tourist-based
Correct article usage
the tourists-economy
tourists-economy
is far from sustainable, Correct your spelling
tourist economy
has
the risk of turning the entire local area into Correct word choice
and has
small
business hostile to its locals, increasing rent, and Correct article usage
a small
thus
, gentrification.
In conclusion, these two contrasting impacts are the most probable results of the rise of international
flow of people and Add an article
the international
commodity
, or what we usually Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
termed as
"globalization". The decreasing price of flight prices, Wrong verb form
term
then
, is the factor that contributes directly into
it. For its impacts to lean into more the positive Change preposition
to
sides
we must rethink the way we implement our policies.Add a comma
sides,
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic effectively by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, some points could be further developed and clarified for a more complete response. For instance, more specific examples illustrating both sides would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally clear and presented logically. However, there are areas where transitions between points could be smoother. To improve coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a solid introduction and conclusion that frame your essay well. Ensure that each paragraph's main point is always directly tied to the topic for better cohesion. Moreover, try to balance your paragraphs more evenly in terms of detail and length.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and structured comparison of the advantages and disadvantages of decreased flight costs, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the scene by addressing the impact of COVID-19 on flight prices, which is very relevant and engaging.
task achievement
You've included several relevant groups affected by the trend, such as tourists, businessmen, family members, and students, which enriches your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.