IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Task 1 The line graph below shows spending on player transfers by four different English football teams from 1995 to 2005.

Task 1 The line graph below shows spending on player transfers by four different English football teams from 1995 to 2005.
#line #player #transfers #four #english #football #teams
The line chart displays the amount of spending on player transfers for four football teams:
Manchester
 City,
Manchester
 Utd, Liverpool and Arsenal, in 20 years.
Overall
, almost all of them showed upward trends, except for Arsenal, which slightly declined throughout
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 period.
Manchester
 Utd started its spending with about 35
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
 in 1995, and increased gradually,
over
Change preposition
to over
show examples
 90
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
;
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 it has raised its spending dramatically up to 160
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
 in the
last
 5 years.
Likewise
, Liverpool has experienced similar trends, beginning
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 about 30
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
 and
then
 reaching its peak at about 130
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
, in 2015.
Manchester
 City has increased slightly between 1995 and 2005, with 10
millions
 of
pounds
, respectively.
However
, it has surged up slightly during the
last
 decade, almost 10 times greater than in the first period (130
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
). Unlike other teams, Arsenal has decreased its spending on transfers with some
fluctustions
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
 over the recorded period and the final amount was slightly lower by about 3
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds
.
Submitted by esenkulova.ulbosyn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words manchester, millions, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 4 times.
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