“Prevention is better than the cure.” Researching and treating disease is too costly and so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extend do you agree?

#“prevention #cure #disease #measures

Prohibiting is indeed better than treatment for lots of reasons. I definitely agree with the idea that the government should spend more on prevention than other items. In

this

essay, I will mention some reasons for

this

. In my opinion, finding out the causes of the illness and treatment for them is a very expensive way for many reasons.

Firstly

, a huge amount of facilities are needed for experimenting with disease,

also

it needs other things,

such

as doctors, researchers, and experts. all of them should be paid and will be lots of money.

secondly

, some diseases are tough to tolerate, and doing research on these types of patients will be approximately impossible.

Finally

due to

these problems, it will take a long time and expenses for the government.

On the other hand

, prevention is an efficient approach to address

this

problem. It will be easier to increase social awareness about health and taking care of themselves. The government should invest more in the educational system,

therefore

, countries will be less faced with diseases in the future.

Additionally

, having a healthy lifestyle can help to reduce the amount of illness and it is one of the effective ways

for preventing

Change preposition

to prevent

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

it.

show examples

In conclusion, avoiding disease is a more profitable approach and it will

less

Add a missing verb

be less

show examples

costly for governments too. It would be better to avoid them

instead

of cure them.

Submitted by ostorr7213 on Mon Jun 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to use specific examples to support your points. This can help to clarify your arguments and add depth to your essay.

coherence cohesion

While the logical structure is clear, try to make smoother transitions between your paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your essay.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully addresses all aspects of the prompt. This can include discussing potential counter-arguments or different perspectives.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states your stance on the topic.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your stance, providing a sense of closure.

task achievement

Your main points are generally clear and relevant to the prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
financial burden
healthcare system
incidence of diseases
expensive treatments
vaccinations
public health campaigns
lifestyle interventions
promoting exercise
healthy eating
chronic diseases
individual quality of life
productivity
debilitating conditions
public health
research and treatment innovations
balanced healthcare strategy
cost-effective approach
long term
workforce productivity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that concentration has been diminished by the commonness of social networks. To some extent, I think that the instant gratification of human beings is one of the major reasons for that, however,external factors such as stress are stimulating to the shortening of sustained attention as well.
6.5
band
More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?
It is universally acknowledged that technological development has significantly improved the world, leading to a higher standard of living. After fulfilling basic needs such as food and shelter, people in developed countries tend to pursue an upgraded lifestyle, with cars often becoming a primary choice.
4.5
band
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter •Explain why you want to voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. •Describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful. •Give details of when you would be available for work.
This letter is pertaining to apply for a unpaid work activity. As I saw the advertisment in newspaper hence I am writing this letter to explain my relevant skills and experience.
5.5
band
In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
To start with, for me, it started to live way harder in modern society because it feels like the government doesn't solve the problems of crimes, murders, youth crime, etc. The government is reducing the money on some other things instead of protecting its population from some dangerous things that are spreading out more and more daily.
6.5
band
Many people choose natural healing methods, such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribe by their doctor for their aliments.
Choosing an effective way of medicine is crucial for many people. Proper medicine treatment brings a person in proper mental and physical conditions which are necessary in terms of social and work adaptivity Although some individuals claim natural treatments such as herbal or massage are preferable, I strongly believe that official medicine is much more effective because of the certain effect and less time recovering.

“Prevention is better than the cure.” Researching and treating disease is too costly and so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extend do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people in developed countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problem dose this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many people choose natural healing methods, such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribe by their doctor for their aliments.