Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robot. What is your opinion?

Nowadays, some individuals believe that
artificial
Change the adjective
artificially
show examples
intelligent
robots
are surely and slowly replacing people in the
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
.
While
it is possible that
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
installed
jobs
will be taken over by
robots
, a number of them will need a human’s touch.
This
essay will illustrate that sooner or later, various
jobs
will be done by people.
Robots
will surely take over most people’s
jobs
that do not require complicated human labour. Because it is less expensive than having training and employing humans, many companies will turn to
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
artificial intelligence. In Poland,
for example
, many cashiers lost their
jobs
because they have been replaced by automated stations that cost far less than employees.
Furthermore
, most banks in Zimbabwe Zimbank have retrenched its workers because of the
24 hours
Correct your spelling
24-hour
ATM
that is
in operation. For these reasons,
jobs
that can be replaced by robotic intelligence will be replaced.
Conversely
, there are
quire
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
a number of
jobs
that cannot be replaced because
robots
will never have the capacity to do them.
For instance
, some
jobs
require a human’s touch
such
as in the following fields, medicine, education, psychology and social work sectors, just to mention a few.
Robots
will never be able to achieve what has taken social and evolution
hundred
Correct your spelling
hundreds
show examples
of thousands of years to achieve. In conclusion, it is greatly believed that robotic intelligence will eventually replace a significant number of human
jobs
. A handful of unskilled labour will
finally
be performed by
robots
,
however
, humans will still be needed to attend to specific sophisticated
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, that are irreplaceable. Ultimately, few human
jobs
will be safe in an
increasing artificial
Replace the word
increasingly artificially
show examples
intelligent workforce.
Submitted by pncubeterera on

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task achievement
To improve your essay, ensure that each main point you present is thoroughly supported with detailed examples. For instance, you could include more specific examples or elaborate further on the robot's limitations in fields like medicine and education to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Focus on refining your transitions between paragraphs to make the progression of your ideas smoother. For example, you could use more diverse linking phrases to connect your points logically.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with small grammatical inaccuracies and word choices. For instance, using 'quite' instead of 'quire' and correcting 'hundred of thousands of years' to 'hundreds of thousands of years' can enhance the clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the argument effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the extent to which robots could replace human jobs.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure to your essay, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence
  • automated
  • transformation
  • job market
  • complement
  • human capabilities
  • mundane tasks
  • higher-value work
  • adapting
  • acquiring
  • skills in demand
  • education and training programs
  • evolving job market
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