Elders say that life was better in past compared to life today. Do you think they are right or wrong based on your knowledge or experience?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Elders see that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life in the past was better than now regardless of the technological
advancment
Correct your spelling
advancement
we are in
today
. Since
any
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many
show examples
people
found
Wrong verb form
find
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it helpful to use technology
although
that
Correct word choice
apply
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kids
today
spend most of
there
Correct your spelling
their
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day
on these devices because of how addicting it can be. In my
openion
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opinion
i
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apply
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think that having electronic devices
in
Change preposition
at
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an early age may or will
damege
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damage
the
kids
Change noun form
kid's
kids'
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brain
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brains
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will
disscuse
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discuss
why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
hold
this
point of view. SInce the release of the
Correct your spelling
iPad
ipad
Add a comma
ipad,
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the number of
ipad
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iPad
users
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
day
by
day
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
an alarming rate because of the significant
deference
Correct your spelling
difference
show examples
between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults
Change noun form
adult's
adults'
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an
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and
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kids
Change noun form
kid's
kids'
show examples
liesure
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leisure
time
. So that
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
up maybe why older
people
could find
there
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their
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time
at
Change preposition
in
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the past much more joyful than
today
's
time
nowing
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knowing
that life now is much
Correct quantifier usage
more confortable
show examples
confortable
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comfortable
than
there
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their
show examples
time
.
factores
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factories
factors
and
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
like
comforte
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comfort
can impact
there
Correct your spelling
their
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opinion on why
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
may choose to
live
Verb problem
apply
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travel in
time
to the past. Some would
aproche
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approach
the idea in a
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
way and would choose to live in the past but have
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
comfortes like
Correct article usage
a wifie
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wifie
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wife
show examples
however
people
would
nit
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not
show examples
utilize it as much as they do
today
.For
me
Add a comma
me,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would
promot
Correct your spelling
promote
choosing
this
lifestyl
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
as we will
expeience
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experience
only the
posetives
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positives
of the past and present .When
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
contemplate
this
subject
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
found out that living in the past could bring happy
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
living in the
futer
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future
may be more comfortable but nothing would be better than quality
time
we spend with our loved
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
even though wereas fun
time
alone wouldnt feel the same . In brief old
people
may find
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
they
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
when they
where
Correct your spelling
were
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children more joyful since they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
time
with friends rather than staying at home all
day
with no one but
Correct article usage
the flates
show examples
flates
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the
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
show examples
we provide .
This
may be true but a
cotaile
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cocktail
notable
between our
time
an there
Correct your spelling
and their
show examples
time
would be better. Because not
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
for them was perfect and
niether
Correct your spelling
neither
us.
Submitted by turki.rais on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a single clear idea and transition smoothly from one to the next. Divide ideas logically between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for basic spelling and grammar mistakes, and ensure that the sentences are grammatically correct. Make use of varied and complex sentence structures.
Task Achievement
You should further develop your points with more detailed examples or explanations. This will help to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Try to be clearer with your position on the topic. Make sure your argument is well-structured and backed up with logical reasoning and relevant examples.
Task Achievement
You have made some good points about the difference in how children spend their time now compared to in the past.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay addresses the topic and provides an introduction and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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