The diagram below shows how honey is made in small-scale commercial production.

The graph illustrates the process of preparing

honey

Use synonyms

in an industrial

manufacture

Replace the word

manufacturing

show examples

Overall

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

operation involves 2 main stages. First

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

the gathering and stocking of nectar by

bees

Use synonyms

along with

Linking Words

the second phase of

honey

Use synonyms

making from nectar.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the process starts with the bee

phase

Punctuation problem

phase,

show examples

where the nectar is gathered and stored by

bees

Use synonyms

in honeycombs.

Afterward

Change the spelling

Afterwards

show examples

, cells are kept clean by the

bees

Use synonyms

and sealed with wax to protect the

honey

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

maintained inside. Moving

further

Linking Words

into the process, the human phase starts with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gathering the honeycombs full of

honey

Use synonyms

and pressing

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

out for

further

Linking Words

operations.

Then

Linking Words

, the

Use synonyms

bees gold

Use the right word

beeswax

show examples

is heated to a temperature of 45 to 50 degrees Celsius to fully purify it. After that,

sweet

Correct article usage

the sweet

show examples

syrup is settled into a sieve tank for 2 to 4 days.

Finally

Linking Words

, after many days of continuous work

Use synonyms

honey

Punctuation problem

, honey

show examples

without any bacteria or dirt is poured into

sterilized

Change the spelling

sterilised

show examples

jars and sold all over commercial networks.

acaitaz

Jun 17, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bees with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

160 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom
There have been immense advances in technology in most aspects of people's lives especially in the field of education. In recent times, an increasing number of students rely on computers to research for information and to produce a perfect paper for learners' purposes. Others believe that have decided to leave the original way of learning to get knowledge through remote learning. In this essay, I will interpret both views and give my opinion.
6.5
band
Some people prefer to buy local products while other international products discuss both and opinion
In the modern world, shopping has become
8
band
Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare training courses. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that raising children is probably the most important job anyone can possess. However, some people would argue that childcare training courses must be compulsory for those wishing to become parents. I believe that, despite its benefits, it should remain the parent’s choice.
7
band
day our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation.
In the modern world, computer technology underpins critical sectors such as communication, medicine, and transport. While some argue that this heavy reliance creates risks, I disagree that it leads to a dangerous situation. Instead, I believe the benefits far outweigh any threats, provided adequate safeguards are in place.
8
band
The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Over the last 30 years, the West has witnessed the East strive for a larger 'piece of the economic pie', aiming for similar living standards to the EU and US. This has increased pressure on natural resources and prompted suggestions for governments to limit consumption; an idea which is severely flawed because it reduces product safety and building products to last would harm the poor.

The diagram below shows how honey is made in small-scale commercial production.

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom

Some people prefer to buy local products while other international products discuss both and opinion

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

day our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation.

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?