IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.

The bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
#bar #modes #transport #travel #work #european #city
The bar graph changes in the
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 used to and from work in a particular European city for three years.
Overall
 the chart indicates that car
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 increased over the period shown,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 declined. The figures for tubes and trains both fluctuated over the same period of time. As
regard
Fix the agreement mistake
regards
show examples
, by far the greatest proportion of commuters used
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
, at nearly 40%. The figures for other means of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
- tube, car and train- were at around 27%, 22% and 19% respectively. Between 1960 and 2000, commuters using
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 fell in popularity as the figure fell to about 26% in 1980 and
this
 fell even
further
 to 15% in 2000.
In contrast
,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 increased significantly to about 23% in 1980, before pushing the figure to well above 35% towards the end of the period. To move to train, the figures increased to about 26%, but
this
 fell to just over 20% by 2000. Use of
tube
Fix the agreement mistake
tubes
show examples
 declined in 1980, in terms of
tube
Fix the agreement mistake
tubes
show examples
, there was
marked
Correct article usage
a marked
show examples
 downward trend in 1980, before rising to a quarter in the final year.
Submitted by gainutdin87 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: