IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think public library is necessary, however, others believe that the public library is useless. What is your opinion and provide with some relevant examples.

#people #library
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that
Correct article usage
the librart
show examples
librart
Correct your spelling
library
 is essential , but another group think
people
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 use
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
 for studying. I will explain my opinion with several examples in
further
Linking Words
 paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with , the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
Use synonyms
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 is not important in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Since almost most
people
Use synonyms
 are not interested in
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 in the
library
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
 , they do not go to the public
library
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 distance.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , they must pay cash for using public
Use synonyms
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 and books.
Thus
Linking Words
 , they prefer
Use synonyms
study
Add the particle
to study
show examples
 in their own home.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , they can not use the phone and speak loud. Because of these reasons ,
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 is not a crucial
place
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 and governments should invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other things
instead
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
. In my opinion ,
Use synonyms
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 is a necessary
place
Use synonyms
 for us. To be honest , I have a great predilection for studying in the
library
Use synonyms
 owing to a lot of reasons
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
enough light , available books and the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of teachers and computers that they can guide us. I think
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
 is so
economic
Replace the word
economical
show examples
. On the ground that we can borrow books without extra money for buying.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , we can share our information with others and learn from their knowledge
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
. In the meantime , we do not waste our time .
For example
Linking Words
 , we can not use and talk
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
phone
Add an article
the phone
a phone
show examples
. So , we are focused on our
study
Use synonyms
 as
more
Rephrase
much
show examples
 as possible.
To sum up
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 for students ,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is not essential.
However
Linking Words
 ,
according to
Linking Words
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, if we have
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
especial
Correct your spelling
special
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 for
study
Use synonyms
 , we will
encourage
Wrong verb form
be encouraged
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
 more.
As a consequence
Linking Words
 , I agree to have many libraries in our own city.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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clear comprehensive ideas
You should make sure to develop your main points with clearer and more comprehensive ideas to improve overall clarity. Try expanding on each argument a bit more.
logical structure
To achieve higher scores, consider structuring your essay with clearer transitions between paragraphs, linking ideas smoothly to improve logical flow.
relevant specific examples
When providing examples, make sure they are relevant and specific to demonstrate your point more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments effectively.
relevant specific examples
You have included relevant examples to illustrate your points about libraries.
complete response
Your essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, offering a balanced view before presenting your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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