Some countries with long average working hours are more economically successful than their countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #hours #time

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Working extra

hours

than the average is deemed by some people to be the reason why some countries

Verb problem

are more

show examples

economically prosperous than the countries with shorter working

hours

, I strongly disagree with

this

view,

this

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

to be successful in any field quality is more important than longer working

hours

To begin

with, not every country thrives economically because of the

citizens

Change noun form

citizen's

citizens'

show examples

long working

hours

, but rather because of the high quality of the

work

. working daily for a long time doesn't guarantee higher and superior results than those who can produce better with fewer

hours

, and

this

is because employees need to find the balance between

work

and personal life to maintain healthy body and mind in and that won't be possible with working longer

hours

, for an instance, France is one of the most successful countries in the world they have a famous saying of

this

matter " we

work

to live",

moreover

, they have less working

hours

and working

hours

usually start from 9 to 10 am.

Furthermore

, the reduction of working

hours

helped to decrease unemployment, studies have shown that reducing working

hours

have a tremendous impact on decreasing unemployment,

this

is because it opens up more job vacancies,

moreover

, without the advances of a shorter workweek, vacation time,

working

Add an article

the working

show examples

environment will be difficult for many, as

illustration

Add an article

an illustration

show examples

, one working environment with fewer working

hours

can open the way for several employees

instead

of hiring

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

people. In conclusion, I firmly believe that reducing

work

hours

will

result

Add the preposition

result in

result from

show examples

better output

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it maintains

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

employee health and in other

cases

Add a comma

cases,

show examples

it opens more job vacancies

Submitted by Ayreen🍒 on Mon Jun 17 2024

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grammar

There are some minor grammatical errors and issues with punctuation. Be careful with subject-verb agreement (e.g., "some countries is" should be "some countries are"). Also, be consistent with capitalization (e.g., "working daily" should be "Working daily").

sentence structuring

Certain sentences are a bit lengthy and could be broken down for better readability. For example, "working daily for a long time doesn't guarantee higher and superior results than those who can produce better with fewer hours, and this is because employees need to find the balance..." could be split into two sentences for clarity.

details

Adding more relevant statistics or specific examples can further strengthen your argument. While you mentioned France, discussing another country for comparison could provide better support for your points.

structure

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument easily.

examples

You provided specific examples, such as the working habits in France, which supports your argument.

clartiy

Your argument is clear and consistent, and you have stayed on topic throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Some countries with long average working hours are more economically successful than their countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In some counties young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. (# typing) What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

People find it difficult to speak in front of the public or to give a presentation. How important is to speak well in public. Do you think children at school should be taught public speaking?

ome people think that the study of history is of little use . Others believe that studying history helps us to know the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.