In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.
In many cultures,
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
are raised with the saying (if you try hard enough every
Correct determiner usage
apply
thing
is achievable), I am going to discuss the pros and cons of planting Correct your spelling
everything
this
idea in the mindes
of Correct your spelling
minds
children
and why I am opposed to it.
In the begining
let me mention some of the Correct your spelling
beginning
advangtages
mentioned by some people, they believe that raising Correct your spelling
advantages
children
with the idea of
nothing is impossible will give them the motivation and confidence needed to work hard for their dreams no matter how big the goal is. parents who use Change preposition
that
this
method trust that building the mentality of success in the brain of children
is the key to better featur
.
one example Correct your spelling
feature
for
Change preposition
of
that is
in some cultures young children
are encureged
only if they Correct your spelling
encouraged
reached
a certain goal regardless of the Wrong verb form
reach
effort
made by them.
on the other hand
, some cultures raise their offsprings
with the message Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
of
(Change preposition
that
effort
does not always payoff), And I tottaly
agree with that from a personal Correct your spelling
totally
experiance
, telling a child that everything Correct your spelling
experience
in
possible if you put enough work Correct your spelling
is
in to
it Join the words
into
well
Correct your spelling
will
reflect
Change the verb form
reflects
negativelly
on them when they don't get the results they expected after working hard, leaving them feeling weak and unworthy, and might even frustrate them from trying again. For Correct your spelling
negatively
Replace the word
instance
instant
if you tell someone that if Add a comma
instant,
you
study hard enough Correct pronoun usage
they
you
will 100% be able to attend Correct pronoun usage
they
medicin
school, and they graduate top Correct your spelling
medical
off
their class but can't go to college Replace the word
of
due to
financial problems it will reflect badly on their moral
and psychological status. Success Correct your spelling
morale
have
many factors Change the verb form
has
such
as aportonity
, Correct your spelling
opportunity
porosity
economic
, Replace the word
economics
effort
and many other factors. And
Parents should reward Correct word choice
apply
effort
regardless of the results to creat
a culture of Correct your spelling
create
resilince
.
Correct your spelling
resilience
lastly
, in my point of view
the cons are greater than the pros. raising anyone with the idea that efforts always Add a comma
view,
payoff
is not realistic and may lead to bad consequences on the Correct your spelling
pay
moral
of the whole Correct your spelling
morale
genration
.Correct your spelling
generation
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay should have a clear introduction and conclusion. The current essay lacks a proper introductory paragraph that sets the context and a concluding paragraph that summarizes your points.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically to the next. Use transition words to guide the reader through your arguments.
supported main points
Provide specific examples to support each of your points. Although you included some examples, they were not detailed enough to significantly strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
Use paragraphs effectively to separate ideas. Make each paragraph about one clear idea or argument.
task achievement
You addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, giving a balanced view.
relevant specific examples
The essay attempts to tackle the prompt by discussing personal experiences and societal observations.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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