It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss hoth these views and give your own opinion.

#people #talents #sport #music #child #sports #person #musician #hoth

Some people argue that, in order to succeed in

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

music

, kids should have inborn talents and abilities,

while

others believe that anyone can be trained in these fields and perform quite well. I believe that,

while

sport and

music

are beneficial for the general development of any child, outstanding results in these activities can be reached only based on both regular teaching and personal capability. On the one hand,

music

and

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

are great for the cognitive and physical development of all kids. Regular physical exercises

also

benefit kids' mental health and self-confidence. Educational reports of private schools, which deliver

on-going

Correct your spelling

ongoing

show examples

music

and sports classes to all pupils, constantly demonstrate the high performance of students in other subjects too. In terms of the level of their performance, all trained juveniles are able to play for school sports teams

as well as

participate in class

music

performances being taught

music

regular

Correct article usage

a regular

show examples

basis.

On the other hand

, in order to demonstrate

Remove the article

apply

show examples

exceptional performance and be able to compete with other best performers, a person needs to be granted in

this

area.

For instance

, Mikhael Phelps, the most famous swimmer in the world who won 27 Olympic medals, had

enormous

Correct article usage

an enormous

show examples

lengh

Correct your spelling

length

of his arms from his childhood exceeding his height of 10 cm. Scientists say that

this

characteristic helped him to reach his amazing flying style of swimming and led to great results. In conclusion,

while

some say that everyone can be taught to play musical instruments or play sports, I believe that great results require great abilities and special talents in each particular field.

Submitted by lea12nz on Tue Jun 18 2024

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task achievement

To further improve your essay, ensure that you address both views more evenly. While you have provided good arguments for both sides, elaborating equally on both perspectives can strengthen your discussion.

coherence cohesion

Work on linking phrases to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will improve the overall flow and readability of your essay.

language accuracy

Pay attention to grammar and syntax to avoid minor errors, such as 'lengh' instead of 'length'. While they do not significantly detract from your essay, correcting these can enhance the overall quality.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and logical structure in your essay, with an organized introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

Your ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of Michael Phelps.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument, which shows a thorough understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss hoth these views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write a letter to the manager of the Lost and Found department of the railway regarding the luggage you accidentally left on the train. In your letter •give the details of your train trip •describe the luggage you left on the train •say what actions you want him/her to take.

Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world go hungry. why is this the caces? what can be done about this problem?

The use of phones, tablets, and other devices when people are walking in public is causing concern among many commentators. What dangers may arise when people focus on such devices when walking in the street? How could these problems be reduced?

In school or universities, girls prefer subjects related to art and boys prefer subjects related science. Should this tendency be changed? What is your opinion?