It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss hoth these views and give your own opinion.
Some people argue that, in order to succeed in
sport
or Fix the agreement mistake
sports
music
, kids should have inborn talents and abilities, while
others believe that anyone can be trained in these fields and perform quite well. I believe that, while
sport and music
are beneficial for the general development of any child, outstanding results in these activities can be reached only based on both regular teaching and personal capability.
On the one hand, music
and sport
are great for the cognitive and physical development of all kids. Regular physical exercises Fix the agreement mistake
sports
also
benefit kids' mental health and self-confidence. Educational reports of private schools, which deliver on-going
Correct your spelling
ongoing
music
and sports classes to all pupils, constantly demonstrate the high performance of students in other subjects too. In terms of the level of their performance, all trained juveniles are able to play for school sports teams as well as
participate in class music
performances being taught music
on regular
basis.
Correct article usage
a regular
On the other hand
, in order to demonstrate an
exceptional performance and be able to compete with other best performers, a person needs to be granted in Remove the article
apply
this
area. For instance
, Mikhael Phelps, the most famous swimmer in the world who won 27 Olympic medals, had enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
lengh
of his arms from his childhood exceeding his height of 10 cm. Scientists say that Correct your spelling
length
this
characteristic helped him to reach his amazing flying style of swimming and led to great results.
In conclusion, while
some say that everyone can be taught to play musical instruments or play sports, I believe that great results require great abilities and special talents in each particular field.Submitted by lea12nz on
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task achievement
To further improve your essay, ensure that you address both views more evenly. While you have provided good arguments for both sides, elaborating equally on both perspectives can strengthen your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking phrases to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will improve the overall flow and readability of your essay.
language accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and syntax to avoid minor errors, such as 'lengh' instead of 'length'. While they do not significantly detract from your essay, correcting these can enhance the overall quality.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure in your essay, with an organized introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of Michael Phelps.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument, which shows a thorough understanding of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite