IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.
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The bar chart demonstrates the number of five distinct transportation methods used by 5 -12 aged
students
Use synonyms
 in a certain nation in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the number of
students
Use synonyms
 who travelled on foot largely dominated other vehicles,
while
Linking Words
 a significant decrease in the census was presented after a few years.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 completely reverse trend was observed in the
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 of those taking cars to commute
school
Fix the infinitive
to school
show examples
. Looking at the bar in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, walking was the most
preferrable
Correct your spelling
preferable
show examples
 method for
students
Use synonyms
 to move to and from school in 1990, comprising slightly over 12
million
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the figure halved to 6
million
Use synonyms
 after 20 years.
Conversely
Linking Words
, car boarders showcased the lowest figure at around 4
million
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 exponentially soared over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time, reaching 11
million
Use synonyms
 with the gap widening three times. Among the remaining transports, bus users exhibited an insignificant change between two times,
deceasing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
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 by merely 2
million
Use synonyms
 from 7
million
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 riding bikes and combining
walk
Wrong verb form
walking
show examples
 and
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 recorded nearly identical
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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, accounting for about 6
million
Use synonyms
. As time
passes
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
 by,
however
Linking Words
, they showed notable differences with cycling tripling down
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and walking and using buses doubling down.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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