It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

The average human is shaped mentally to who they are in the present day from an early age, including when they were a child.
This
is because how those years of human life are when the human brain starts to develop rapidly to input information and shape the mentality of each individual, including morality. Morality is humans' mental capability to differentiate between what is
right
and wrong,
thus
children
need to learn the difference between
right
and wrong at an early age. There are many methods and tools that parents and teachers can take to teach
children
about
right
and wrong. One of them is to use
punishment
when necessary.
Punishment
is the act of inflicting physical or mental discomfort
as a result
of an unwanted outcome,
such
as bad
behaviour
in
children
. When used correctly,
punishment
can be an effective tool to teach
children
what's
right
and wrong.
This
is caused by the human nature of reacting to causality. If
children
get punished because of the way they behave, they will see the
behaviour
as a cause for the
punishment
,
thus
leading to avoidance of
such
behaviour
and even leading to the "taboofication" (Bad = morally disgusting, must avoid) of
such
behaviour
in the
children
's brain.
This
way,
children
can learn morals faster.
Although
this
is the case, the methods of
punishment
must be regulated to avoid cases of child abuse. The sort of
punishment
that is
allowed to be used should inflict minimum pain physically and mentally,
such
as a short period of phone confiscation, or punishments that can lead to a productive life,
such
as enforcing chores.
Submitted by kelly on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a generally clear position on the topic, explaining why children need to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age and discussing punishment as a method for achieving this. However, the argumentation can be further developed with more specific examples and detailed explanations to enhance clarity and support. Consider adding examples from studies, personal experiences, or historical cases to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's logical structure is generally good, but some transitions between ideas can be smoother. For a higher coherence and cohesion score, consider using more transitional phrases to connect your paragraphs and ideas more effectively. For example, use phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Moreover' to elaborate on points or provide counterarguments.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is effective in setting the context of the argument, providing a strong rationale for the importance of teaching children the difference between right and wrong early on.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively suggests appropriate kinds of punishment, addressing potential issues of child abuse and emphasizing productive measures, thus providing a balanced viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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