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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the changes in production(millions)of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the changes in production(millions)of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the changes in
Use synonyms
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of
suit
Fix the agreement mistake
suits
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,
dress
Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
show examples
, and
Use synonyms
coat
Fix the agreement mistake
coats
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 in a garment factory between 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is significant that all three
Use synonyms
production
Change to a plural noun
productions
show examples
 didn't over 25 million
Correct your spelling
throughout
throughtout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the given
period
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 all three different products were increased from 1990 and 1995.
However
Linking Words
, in 1995 and 2000,
while
Linking Words
 the
coat
Use synonyms
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 from 12 to 18,
Use synonyms
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of
suit
Fix the agreement mistake
suits
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 and
dress
Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased.
Also
Linking Words
, it should be mentioned that the dress
production
Use synonyms
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
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 off compared to others, which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
ranged between 10 and 15 throughout the given
period
Use synonyms
. Looking at the graph closely, it is noteworthy that the suit
production
Use synonyms
 fluctuated
unill
Correct your spelling
until
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, even
thought
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
 the
coat
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 had an upward trend in
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
period
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coat
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 which was the latest
production
Use synonyms
 in 1990 became
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 biggest
production
Use synonyms
 compared to others. These recorded 7 million in 1990 and 25 million in 2010, respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, coat, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Production volume
  • Garment factory
  • Trend (increasing, decreasing)
  • Comparative analysis
  • Fluctuations
  • Market demand
  • Technological advancements
  • Production capacity
  • Raw material availability
  • Economic conditions
  • Notable observations
  • Significant shifts
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