Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree on this IELTS topic?

Freedom to express
ideas
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
needed for creative
artists
but sometimes, the
government
gives
restrictions
for expressing creative
ideas
.
Hence
in
this
essay, I will discuss why the
government
should give
restrictions
for creative
artists
to express their
ideas
. The
demerits
Fix the agreement mistake
demerit
show examples
of giving
restrictions
for creative
artists
to express their
ideas
is the level of difficulty
to produce
Change preposition
in producing
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
art
is increasing. These
restrictions
give
Verb problem
put
show examples
a lot of pressure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the creative communities to work on their
ideas
, making them unable to work freely and more boring.
Therefore
, the
art
that they produced became less enjoyable and did not have uniqueness.
This
is very unfortunate because
art
is something that should be unique and depict the expression that comes from each artist making it more valuable for society.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
that, the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
value of
art
has become more undesirable for
art
collectors around the world,
this
situation increases the difficulty of preserving
art
collection
Fix the agreement mistake
collections
show examples
. Creative
artists
commonly express their
ideas
out of the box, they can make a huge graffiti on the national building or make a controversial film
that is
against the
government
.
This
situation happened because they wanted to create a spotlight and acknowledgement from creative fellows, but there will be dissent and polemic which can incite public anger.
Therefore
the
government
must create
restrictions
to prevent
this
chaos
happening
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
in their country. In conclusion, the
government
must create a clear and reasonable restriction for creative
artists
to express their
ideas
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society so they can express their
ideas
without harming
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by kelly on

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task achievement
The essay would benefit from clearly stating the main argument in the introduction. It currently provides a background but not a strong thesis statement. A clearer thesis helps set the direction for the essay.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples that illustrate your points. For instance, you could mention specific instances where artistic freedom has led to societal issues or where government restrictions have stifled creativity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth and logical progression between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader and enhance the coherence of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points of the essay more comprehensively. Restate the thesis in a clearer manner and briefly recap the arguments made.
task achievement
The essay touches upon important aspects of the issue, such as the balance between artistic freedom and societal order.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically arranged, facilitating the reader's understanding of the arguments being made.
task achievement
The essay discusses both the negative impacts of government restrictions and the potential need for them, which provides a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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