International aid, which is assumed as the indispensable part of government’s assistance, is said to not be allocated for foreign countries because of existing many idles and useless people. In this essay why I totally agree with the very perspective will be addressed.
International
aid
, which is assumed as an indispensable part of the government’s assistance, is said to not be allocated to foreign countries
because of the existence of many idles
and useless Wrong verb form
idled
people
. In this
essay why I totally agree with the very perspective will be addressed.
Firstly
, financial support from the government is accounted as the most considerable activity in one society. To illustrate, there are myriad disabled and poor individuals in every country and authorities are responsible for them and they have to allocate huge budgets to help them possess high quality life. If countries
dedicate money
and some resources to disadvantaged people
who live overseas, domestic individuals are deprived of abundant resources of financial aid
in their own countries
. As a result
, countries
should pay attention to their own people
, and if the sources of money
remain, they can dedicate them to other overseas people
.
Secondly
, facilities in every society are considered as the most important objects to make the folks’ lives easier and better. To clarify, for example
, countries
achieve lots of money
from selling and exporting oil to other countries
and they obtain abundant profits for the country. If the governments spend this
money
on financial aid
, they will waste this
amount of money
. They not only can construct hospitals, schools, parks, and other essential facilities, but also
make lives easier for their own people
because indoor individuals are more important than idles and homeless people
in other countries
. Finally
, although
helping others is assumed as the best activity globally, native people
should be prioritized in order to financial aid
.
In conclusion, thanks to the importance of domestic people
rather than international folks and dedicated
budget to provide facilities for Correct article usage
the dedicated
people
is superior.Submitted by Golden Goals on
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coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve coherence and ensure each paragraph has one main idea.
task achievement
Expand on the conclusion to summarize your main arguments more effectively.
suitable writing tone
Avoid using harsh terms such as 'useless' or 'idles' as they can be perceived negatively. Opt for more neutral language.
task achievement
You have provided clear reasons and examples that support your agreement with the perspective.
suitable writing tone
Your essay maintains a suitable academic tone throughout.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
The Greeting
Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.
Always start an informal letter in the ways:
- Dear + name
- Hi / Hello + name
‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.
For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:
- Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
- Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.