Responsible tourists pay attention to preserving both the environment and culture of place they visit. Some people think it is impossible to be a responsible tourist. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Whether tourists can find it
chalenging
to preserve Correct your spelling
challenging
places
they visit or not has always been hotly debated. As some maintain that its
hard to keep Correct your spelling
it's
tourist
from ruining Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
places
they visit , the majority me
included believe creating solutions Correct pronoun usage
apply
according
realistic Add the preposition
according to
studies
may not be the most effective but the most necessary.
On one
hand , Correct article usage
the one
by
conducting Change preposition
apply
studies
that best fit our
problems that Change the word
the
people
might face in tourist
atraction
areas can boost our chances of success. Correct your spelling
attraction
For
example
in Disney Add a comma
example,
Land
they did several Add a comma
Land,
studies
and found that most of thier
visiters throw Correct your spelling
their
Change preposition
out there
there
gabage Correct your spelling
their
wastes
after almost 17 Fix the agreement mistake
waste
feets
and that it requires Correct your spelling
feet
to put
a Change the verb form
putting
trash
cane every 17 feets
. Correct your spelling
feet
Moreover
, due to
the bad habbits
of some Correct your spelling
habits
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
tourist
they throw Add a comma
tourist,
there
Correct your spelling
their
trash
behind them rather than throwing it in the garbage cane behind them .
On the other hand
, tourists from developed countries like japanes
Correct your spelling
Japanese
people
ensure to keep places
they go to clean ; Correct article usage
the places
otherwise
they will not leave until they remove every single Add a comma
otherwise,
trash
they so around . That said Correct quantifier usage
piece of trash
claimimg
that all Correct your spelling
claiming
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
fellthy
Correct word choice
feel bad
isnt
acceptable as not all Correct your spelling
isn't
people
have the same habits and believes
. Replace the word
beliefs
As
Correct word choice
Studies
studies
suggested that keeping trash
canes around can be a solution to keep places
we visit and our country clean,
In brief , the approach that every tourist
have
the Correct subject-verb agreement
has
habbit
of throwing Correct your spelling
habit
there
Replace the word
their
trash
on the floor is a simple minded
way to think about other Add a hyphen
simple-minded
people
. Hence
countries should continue on
finding Change preposition
apply
moder soluitions
in order to find solutions with significant effects on the Correct your spelling
modern solutions
enviroment
and societies.Correct your spelling
environment
Submitted by turki.rais on
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grammar
There are several spelling and grammatical errors in the essay (e.g., 'challenging', 'attraction', 'its', 'there should be their', 'can' instead of 'cane', etc.). Correcting these will enhance readability and coherence.
clarity
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. For example, the Disney Land example is not entirely clear in its relevance to preserving culture and environment. Elaborate more on how the solutions directly address the issue discussed.
structure
Your points should be more logically structured. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that your main ideas are connected logically from one to the next. Use transition words to help with this.
example
Your examples, especially of Disneyland and Japanese tourists, are specific and help in illustrating your main points.
conclusion
You have a clear conclusion that reiterates your main point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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