IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, teachers were the main source of information, but today students have a wide source of information, so teachers are no longer important in the modern education. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many people assert that
students
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 have access
a
Change preposition
to a
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wider range of
information
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 nowadays, which reduces the responsibility of
teachers
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 in
academic
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academics
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.
However
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, there is a persuasive argument that
teachers
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 still play a significant role in the academic environment. In the modern society, the
students
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 have become independent learners who use the Internet to satisfy their curiosity.
However
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,
due to
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 the
information
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came
Correct pronoun usage
that came
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 from the Internet
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 give the wrong data,
teachers
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 should check the
fact
Fix the agreement mistake
facts
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 for
students
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 before the wrong data
fixed
Wrong verb form
fixes
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 their
brain
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brains
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.
Moreover
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,
teachers
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 can provide valuable guidance on enhancing study skills, which they have gained through professional training and experience.
For example
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, in Korea, personal tutors remain popular, with parents willing to pay a premium to hire personal tutors for each subject for their children.
On the other hand
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, even though
computers
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 can perform many school-related tasks,
teachers
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 are still necessary because they provide
students
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 with more than just
information
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. Even though
computers
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 can provide
information
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,
teachers
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 are needed to explain
this
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information
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 to
students
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. Most importantly, it is a teacher’s job to show
students
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 how to apply
information
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 to particular situations in a useful way. In fact,
computers
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 provide too much
information
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, so
students
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 might become confused since it is hard to organize
information
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 without a teacher.
This
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show
Change the verb form
shows
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 that
computers
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 make the role of
teachers
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 become more important. In conclusion,
although
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 many
students
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 have access to a vast amount of
information
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,
this
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 does not diminish the importance of
teachers
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. The benefits of fact-checking and the proper using skills strongly support the continued significance of
teachers
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. For all these reasons, I believe that
teachers
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 remain the main source of academic guidance.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. The points you make are valid, but they could be presented in a more organized manner to help the reader better follow your argument. Consider using more transitional phrases and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear and your response is complete, adding more specific examples to support your points would enhance your argument. Specific examples can make your argument more convincing and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both strong and clearly present the main argument of the essay. This helps set a clear framework for your discussion.
task achievement
You have effectively covered all aspects of the task and provided a complete response to the prompt, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and easy to understand, which makes your essay very readable. Clarity is crucial for effective communication in writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Facilitators of learning
  • Personalized learning
  • Mentorship
  • Critical thinking
  • Practical application
  • Interactive learning environments
  • Group discussions
  • Teamwork
  • Social interaction
  • Soft skills
  • Evaluation
  • Feedback
  • Emotional support
  • Social development
  • Self-study
  • Adapt teaching methods
  • Educational guidance
  • Teacher-student interaction
  • Knowledgeable feedback
  • Student confidence
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