IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In the past, teachers were the main source of information, but today students have a wide source of information, so teachers are no longer important in the modern education. Do you agree or disagree?

#teachers #source #information #students #education
Many people assert that
students
 have access
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
wider range of
information
 nowadays, which reduces the responsibility of
teachers
 in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
.
However
, there is a persuasive argument that
teachers
 still play a significant role in the academic environment. In the modern society, the
students
 have become independent learners who use the Internet to satisfy their curiosity.
However
,
due to
 the
information
came
Correct pronoun usage
that came
show examples
 from the Internet
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 give the wrong data,
teachers
 should check the
fact
Fix the agreement mistake
facts
show examples
 for
students
 before the wrong data
fixed
Wrong verb form
fixes
show examples
 their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
.
Moreover
,
teachers
 can provide valuable guidance on enhancing study skills, which they have gained through professional training and experience.
For example
, in Korea, personal tutors remain popular, with parents willing to pay a premium to hire personal tutors for each subject for their children.
On the other hand
, even though
computers
 can perform many school-related tasks,
teachers
 are still necessary because they provide
students
 with more than just
information
. Even though
computers
 can provide
information
,
teachers
 are needed to explain
this
information
 to
students
. Most importantly, it is a teacher’s job to show
students
 how to apply
information
 to particular situations in a useful way. In fact,
computers
 provide too much
information
, so
students
 might become confused since it is hard to organize
information
 without a teacher.
This
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 that
computers
 make the role of
teachers
 become more important. In conclusion,
although
 many
students
 have access to a vast amount of
information
,
this
 does not diminish the importance of
teachers
. The benefits of fact-checking and the proper using skills strongly support the continued significance of
teachers
. For all these reasons, I believe that
teachers
 remain the main source of academic guidance.
Submitted by kopopig on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. The points you make are valid, but they could be presented in a more organized manner to help the reader better follow your argument. Consider using more transitional phrases and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear and your response is complete, adding more specific examples to support your points would enhance your argument. Specific examples can make your argument more convincing and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both strong and clearly present the main argument of the essay. This helps set a clear framework for your discussion.
task achievement
You have effectively covered all aspects of the task and provided a complete response to the prompt, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and easy to understand, which makes your essay very readable. Clarity is crucial for effective communication in writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: