The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020

#information #participants #activities #center #melbourne #australia #period

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The graph shows how many participants

who were

Verb problem

apply

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joined different types of social activity hubs in Melbourne, Australia in the 2000 and 2020 timeframe.

Overall

Linking Words

, All

activeties

Correct your spelling

active

participants numbers increased over the period,

While

Linking Words

one of them

show

Wrong verb form

showed

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the opposite trend.

Also

Linking Words

, film activity remained dominant

while

Linking Words

raking of other

Correct your spelling

activities

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

changed over the period The film activity audience was more than 65 in 2000 and it reached it is

peak

Add an article

a peak

the peak

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in 2020(with nearly 70)Even though experienced

slight

Correct article usage

a slight

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drop in mid-time.

Also

Linking Words

, martial arts underwent almost the same trend as film Hub but started with a lower amount around 37, and hit the record in 2010 (with around 40) The ping pong participants increased more than 3 times it started with 18 and slightly increased till 2010(with 20),

after

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

dramatically grew and reached its' peak (with 55).

Meanwhile

Add a comma

Meanwhile,

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Musical performances and amateur dramatics show vice versa trends. Musical performances began in 2005 and boomed till 2010 (with 10) and continued with a stable trend

hit

Wrong verb form

hitting

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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15(in 2020).

While

Linking Words

Amateur dramatics

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the first five

year

Change to a plural noun

years

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slightly increased almost

reach

Wrong verb form

reaching

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30 (in 2005)

after

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

experienced

Correct article usage

show examples

flat dropping and reached 5 (in 2020)

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Jun 18 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this, also, while".

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

193 words

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The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020

In many countries today, everyday necessities like food and petrol have become very expensive. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered.