The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.
The map illustrates the city centre of Paris, where a company would like to erect two new prospective areas for the new restaurants. To start with, in Paris, the River Seine, which flows across the heart of the city of Paris, has divided the area into the right and left banks.
Hence
, the first location is located on the very west of the right side of the river. Going east of the prospective area, there is a park with the Maritime Museum on the north, with 8000 people visiting the place every day.
Further
to the east, there is the Aquarium, which is visited by 2000 visitors daily
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will possibly have access to the new restaurant.
On the other hand
, the second location is placed on the left side of the river. The site is between the two well-known tourist attractions namely the Eiffel Tower on the west and the Art Gallery on the east, which has 16000 tourists coming per day, but the latter is visited by 750 people respectively. Moving on to the West, there is a park and a Sports Centre with 500 tourists coming every day. On the Southwest of the map, the Metro Station can be found, and it
also
gives easier access for visitors to commute.
To conclude
, the second site is far better as it is more strategic and has an opportunity to be visited by 17.000 people.
Submitted by kelly on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proximity
  • attractions
  • landmarks
  • boost business
  • public transportation
  • accessibility
  • upscale neighborhood
  • demographic
  • premium
  • menu items
  • competition
  • market saturation
  • rental costs
  • operational costs
  • profit margins
  • foot traffic
  • amenities
  • business offices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: