The diagram below shows information about student attendance in various schools. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows information about student attendance in various schools. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table compares data about pupils who attended different
colleges
in 2000, 2005 and 2009. The units are given in percentage.
Overall
, it can be seen that there was a rising demand for public schools over the years,
while
eagerness for optional-based
colleges
and grammar ones decreased sharply.
In addition
, the private school attendance remained almost constant over the given period.
According to
the data, in 2000, over half of students attended voluntary-controlled
colleges
,
while
roughly a quarter of them went to both public and private ones collectively.
Similarly
,
this
proportion for grammar school projects was the same as these two in combination, which was %24. In the following years, there was an enthusiastic approach for public sections and they reached just under %60 in 2009.
However
,
this
number for the other school models, grammar schools and voluntary-based ones, experienced a sharp decline and reached 12 and %20 respectively over the period.
Finally
, the proportions for private
colleges
remained almost stable at around %11 over the given period.
Submitted by pooya.olad on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words colleges with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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