Government should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performance for general public. Do you agree or disagree?
In
the
modern-day society, authorities are supposed to give financial Correct article usage
apply
support
for education, rather than for
Change preposition
to
general
public. Add an article
the general
This
essay believes that education is considered to be an integral part in
our Change preposition
of
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
due to
the fact that it has a beneficial impact on our achievements in sport
and art.
The primary advantage of spending money for students is connected with their ability to identify their preferences and Fix the agreement mistake
sports
understanding
if it is fit them or not. Wrong verb form
understand
This
new development in schools can have a beneficial impact on what they want to do in the future
. They can become a
great sportsmen or artists and school will be popular thanks Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
for
their achievements. Change preposition
to
According to
some articles, some countries where government
Correct article usage
the government
support
this
idea became
are believed to be successful.
Another benefit is related to the fact that those students can realise their potential in competitions. Verb problem
apply
Also
it has a positive effect on their Add a comma
Also,
future
opportunities: participating in such
activities may lead to a good job choice, the fastest promotion or it will be easy to find a good job in the future
. According to
a survey, approximately 80% of respondents claim that with the help of this
government support
they overcome numerous challenges in life.
In conclusion, currently, authorities are considered to be a helpful tool for students who play the most significant role in education. This
essay believes that this
support
is associated with the greatest accomplishments that pupils can achieve due to
the fact that it is linked to their future
career
and opportunities.Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Submitted by sofina.elena2014 on
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and maintains a clear main idea. While your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, make sure the introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a structured argument throughout.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a balanced perspective on the topic, showing good understanding.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?