Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think that is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern-day society, professional
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
show examples
get a big
salary
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
who are related to
another significant jobs
Replace the adjective
another significant job
other significant jobs
show examples
. Some individuals think that it has a positive impact,
however
others believe that it has a negative one.
This
essay believes that good
sportsman
are supposed to earn more
due to
the
fact
that their life is in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
danger. On the one hand, there are numerous
people
who think that everyone has to get
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
equal
salary
and it is unfair to someone
receives
Correct pronoun usage
who receives
show examples
more. Good workers
are consider
Change the verb form
are considered
show examples
to have tremendous money
due to
the
fact
that they have a higher position in a company.
Also
, there are professions connected with
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
sphere where
people
can develop and earn more.
According to
some
survey
Fix the agreement mistake
surveys
show examples
,
people
who work in
such
companies complain that they get fewer than those who participate in
a professional competitions
Correct the article-noun agreement
professional competitions
a professional competition
show examples
.
This
essay argues that individuals who have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
cannot have
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
bigger than
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
show examples
due to
the
fact
that they
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
at
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
risk
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
injured.
However
, some
people
are aware of the
fact
that
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
show examples
work hard to achieve their goals that are related to the
fact
that they have a desire to win a competition and get a reward.
In addition
, they have some challenges in their career
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
connected with depression or some accidents.
That is
why
people
consider their
salary
to be higher.
According to
some research, approximately 60% of respondents share that they
satisfied
Add a missing verb
are satisfied
show examples
with their budget. In conclusion, currently, there are a large number of
people
who believe that
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
show examples
deserve to get a big
salary
due to
the
fact
that they work hard and for our pleasure and fun.
Submitted by sofina.elena2014 on

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task achievement
Expand on points for and against in more depth. Incorporate more examples where possible. This will improve your Task Achievement score.
task achievement
Engage more with your main points to cover ideas comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to make connections clear.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing the structure of the essay better. An introductory paragraph should clearly outline the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should summarize the key points while clearly stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Good understanding of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear effort to provide a balanced view. This is a strong point which adds to the essay's coherence.
task achievement
Use of specific examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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