In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?
In some
countries
individuals concentrate more on themselves rather than their surroundings. The main problems of Add a comma
countries,
this
are related to isolation and degradation, and solutions are connected with interaction and education.
The primary issue is associated with the fact
that people are becoming ill-informed and they lose a
possibility Correct article usage
the
of
absorb new information. They are considered to be lazy and they cannot think fast. The second problem is connected with isolation. It has a detrimental effect on them Change preposition
to
due to
the fact
that they lose the ability to communicate on various topics and they try to avoid others. Also
, this
kind of behavior
may result in some mental issues. Change the spelling
behaviour
According to
some psychological research, this type
of people are becoming less interested in our environment and they suffer from various mental diseases.
The main solution Fix the agreement mistake
these types
of
the first problem is related to the Change preposition
to
fact
that education has a beneficial impact. It is considered to be useful for those who want to avoid degradation and to pull yourself together. As for the
second solution is associated with communication Change preposition
The
due to
the fact
that it has a positive impact. Active people can help individuals who suffer from loneliness and they can to
become more sociable in Change the verb form
apply
this
atmosphere. According to
some survey
, approximately 70% of respondents became more open with those who lead hectic Fix the agreement mistake
surveys
lifestyle
.
In conclusion, some individuals want to spend their time alone Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
than
with someone else. Rephrase
rather than
This
essay considers this
style of behavior
to be challenging Change the spelling
behaviour
due to
the fact
that there are some issues that it can cause.Submitted by sofina.elena2014 on
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introduction conclusion present
Enhance the introduction by providing a more general overview of the essay topic and ensuring it clearly states what the essay will discuss.
relevant specific examples
Offer clear and specific examples to support your points further. This will provide more depth to your arguments and make them more convincing.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph consistently support that idea. This will improve the overall logical structure and coherence.
complete response
The essay addresses the main problems and solutions relevant to the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas are clear and comprehensive, showing an ability to form logical arguments and solutions.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph generally following a clear structure, which aids in maintaining coherence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite