Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
The statistics of people's ages in a
nation
is
very crucial as Correct subject-verb agreement
are
it
can Correct pronoun usage
they
deciding
Wrong verb form
decide
the
future Change the word
its
of
Change preposition
apply
it
. Nowadays, compared with the number of older people, the sum of people who are in Correct pronoun usage
apply
young
category Add an article
the young
a young
are
in the higher account. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Therefore
, I, remain convinced that the drawbacks would be overshadow
by the merits.
On the one hand, the lack of older generations in one country can lead to Change the verb form
be overshadowed
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
experiences
. Fix the agreement mistake
experience
Although
they might not productive
enough to work Add a missing verb
be productive
on
important posts in the authorities, their Change preposition
in
advices
is very crucial to Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
maintain
or even Wrong verb form
maintaining
gain
a better position Wrong verb form
gaining
of
the Change preposition
for
nation
among
the world. Change preposition
in
But
, it Correct word choice
However
not
an easy way Add a missing verb
is not
to
a country to force them to give Change preposition
for
advices
as most Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
of
older humans might be happier Change preposition
apply
to enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoying
the
retirement day. Change the word
their
In addition
, countries must prepare Fix the agreement mistake
more
much
money Correct quantifier usage
more
Change preposition
for
to
Change preposition
for
Correct article usage
apply
the
public care as older folks are Correct article usage
apply
risker
to earn illness than the younger. Replace the word
riskier
Consequently
, the burden of other important posts such
as education or nation
protection would be lesser.
Replace the word
national
On the other hand
, the wheel of economic
in the country will move faster if they have Replace the word
economy
high
number of young folks. Change the article
a high
the high
That is
because,
they have a better innovation than the older. Remove the comma
apply
For instance
, nowadays, the economics
of Vietnam Replace the word
economy
had
a moderate increase as their young humans have Wrong verb form
has
a
innovation in Remove the article
apply
technology
sector. As Add an article
the technology
the
result, many companies Correct article usage
a
invest
in Vietnam, and the number of unemployment Wrong verb form
invested
is
Verb problem
has
decrease
. Correct your spelling
decreased
Secondly
, the younger folks dwilling
to learn about new technologies which is the thing that the older Correct your spelling
willing
dont
have. Correct your spelling
ones
Although
,
they might lack Remove the comma
apply
of
Remove the preposition
apply
experiences
, Fix the agreement mistake
experience
due to
their hard work of
learning, they can cope Change preposition
in
the
problems Change preposition
with the
about
technology Change preposition
of
easier
. Rephrase
more easily
Thus
, can impact in positive
way for the Change the article
a positive
nation
.
In conclusion, although
the old
generation might have some experiences, they risk to ill. Fix the agreement mistake
older
In contrast
, the young generations have energy
to cope Add an article
the energy
any
problems in Change preposition
with any
this
era and their availability in the nation
will make wheel
of economics move faster. I, Add an article
a wheel
the wheel
therefore
, remain believe that the merits will eclipsed
the drawbacks.Change the verb form
eclipse
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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve readability. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement.
organization
Clearly state the advantages and disadvantages in a more organized manner. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
support
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
task response
The essay attempts to address both advantages and disadvantages of having a younger population compared to an older one.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow to the arguments presented, with each paragraph addressing a different aspect of the issue.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the discussion.