Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

The statistics of people's ages in a
nation
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
very crucial as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can
deciding
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
the
Change the word
its
show examples
future
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Nowadays, compared with the number of older people, the sum of people who are in
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
category
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
in the higher account.
Therefore
, I, remain convinced that the drawbacks would
be overshadow
Change the verb form
be overshadowed
show examples
by the merits. On the one hand, the lack of older generations in one country can lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
.
Although
they might not
productive
Add a missing verb
be productive
show examples
enough to work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
important posts in the authorities, their
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
is very crucial to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
or even
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
a better position
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
nation
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the world.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
an easy way
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
a country to force them to give
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
older humans might be happier
to enjoy
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enjoying
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
retirement day.
In addition
, countries must prepare
Fix the agreement mistake
more
show examples
much
Correct quantifier usage
more
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money
Change preposition
for
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public care as older folks are
risker
Replace the word
riskier
show examples
to earn illness than the younger.
Consequently
, the burden of other important posts
such
as education or
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
protection would be lesser.
On the other hand
, the wheel of
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
in the country will move faster if they have
high
Change the article
a high
the high
show examples
number of young folks.
That is
because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they have a better innovation than the older.
For instance
, nowadays, the
economics
Replace the word
economy
show examples
of Vietnam
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
a moderate increase as their young humans have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
innovation in
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
sector. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result, many companies
invest
Wrong verb form
invested
show examples
in Vietnam, and the number of unemployment
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
decrease
Correct your spelling
decreased
show examples
.
Secondly
, the younger folks
dwilling
Correct your spelling
willing
to learn about new technologies which is the thing that the older
dont
Correct your spelling
ones
have.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they might lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
,
due to
their hard work
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
learning, they can cope
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
problems
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
technology
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
.
Thus
, can impact in
positive
Change the article
a positive
show examples
way for the
nation
. In conclusion,
although
the
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
generation might have some experiences, they risk to ill.
In contrast
, the young generations have
energy
Add an article
the energy
show examples
to cope
any
Change preposition
with any
show examples
problems in
this
era and their availability in the
nation
will make
wheel
Add an article
a wheel
the wheel
show examples
of economics move faster. I,
therefore
, remain believe that the merits will
eclipsed
Change the verb form
eclipse
show examples
the drawbacks.
Submitted by alfathemaster on

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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve readability. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement.
organization
Clearly state the advantages and disadvantages in a more organized manner. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
support
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
task response
The essay attempts to address both advantages and disadvantages of having a younger population compared to an older one.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow to the arguments presented, with each paragraph addressing a different aspect of the issue.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the discussion.

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