Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

The statistics of people's ages in a
nation
is
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are
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very crucial as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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can
deciding
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decide
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the
Change the word
its
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future
of
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apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. Nowadays, compared with the number of older people, the sum of people who are in
young
Add an article
the young
a young
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category
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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in the higher account.
Therefore
, I, remain convinced that the drawbacks would
be overshadow
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be overshadowed
show examples
by the merits. On the one hand, the lack of older generations in one country can lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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.
Although
they might not
productive
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be productive
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enough to work
on
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in
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important posts in the authorities, their
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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is very crucial to
maintain
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maintaining
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or even
gain
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gaining
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a better position
of
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for
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the
nation
among
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in
show examples
the world.
But
Correct word choice
However
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, it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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an easy way
to
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for
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a country to force them to give
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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as most
of
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apply
show examples
older humans might be happier
to enjoy
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enjoying
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the
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their
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retirement day.
In addition
, countries must prepare
Fix the agreement mistake
more
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much
Correct quantifier usage
more
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money
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for
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to
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for
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public care as older folks are
risker
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riskier
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to earn illness than the younger.
Consequently
, the burden of other important posts
such
as education or
nation
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national
show examples
protection would be lesser.
On the other hand
, the wheel of
economic
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economy
show examples
in the country will move faster if they have
high
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a high
the high
show examples
number of young folks.
That is
because
,
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apply
show examples
they have a better innovation than the older.
For instance
, nowadays, the
economics
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economy
show examples
of Vietnam
had
Wrong verb form
has
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a moderate increase as their young humans have
a
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apply
show examples
innovation in
technology
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the technology
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sector. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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result, many companies
invest
Wrong verb form
invested
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in Vietnam, and the number of unemployment
is
Verb problem
has
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decrease
Correct your spelling
decreased
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.
Secondly
, the younger folks
dwilling
Correct your spelling
willing
to learn about new technologies which is the thing that the older
dont
Correct your spelling
ones
have.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they might lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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,
due to
their hard work
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
learning, they can cope
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
problems
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
technology
easier
Rephrase
more easily
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.
Thus
, can impact in
positive
Change the article
a positive
show examples
way for the
nation
. In conclusion,
although
the
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
generation might have some experiences, they risk to ill.
In contrast
, the young generations have
energy
Add an article
the energy
show examples
to cope
any
Change preposition
with any
show examples
problems in
this
era and their availability in the
nation
will make
wheel
Add an article
a wheel
the wheel
show examples
of economics move faster. I,
therefore
, remain believe that the merits will
eclipsed
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eclipse
show examples
the drawbacks.
Submitted by alfathemaster on

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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve readability. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement.
organization
Clearly state the advantages and disadvantages in a more organized manner. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
support
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
task response
The essay attempts to address both advantages and disadvantages of having a younger population compared to an older one.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow to the arguments presented, with each paragraph addressing a different aspect of the issue.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the discussion.
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