Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is clear that
prevention
is more
better than Change the word
apply
cure
. survering
and treating illness is so much Correct your spelling
surveying
costly
.Actually , it Correct quantifier usage
more costly
cost
an arm and a leg Wrong verb form
costs
due to
expensive medicines. Hence
, this
is logical that we do prevention
instead
of cure
. I agree with this
issue completely and I will explain my own opinion in further
paragraphs.
To begin
with , prevention
is the best way to have a health's
Change noun form
health
body
. Since we will have an exceptionally good enotion
always. Correct your spelling
emotion
notion
motion
Furthermore
, families do not have to need any cure
or surjury
. Correct your spelling
surgery
On the other hand
, cure
is so Add an article
the cure
a cure
expencive
.Correct your spelling
expensive
Hence
, people
can save their money and invest somewhere they like and enjoy their healthy body
. Moreover
, if citizens prevent harmful foods and dangerous activities , they will not have any pain . In addition
, children have a role model for their lives . For instance
, they learn from their parent. Thus
, parents should have a healthy diet and do
exercise to teach their children.
Unnecessary verb
apply
It is clear that
cure
is more costly. Correct article usage
a cure
Additionally
, it
may there Correct pronoun usage
apply
is
no hospital or advanced Correct subject-verb agreement
be
cure
centres in the countryside. Hence
, people
's disease
will become Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
dangerouse
as soon as possible. Correct your spelling
dangerous
Besides
, there is
not enough human staff in the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
healthy
centres , Replace the word
health
such
as doctors and nurses. Therefore
, this
is a risk for people
to become illness
. Replace the word
ill
Also
, there are many human errors in every hospital in the world due to
boredom and take
a mistake .
So , in my idea , Correct your spelling
make
prevention
is a good way to invest our money in a positive direction. As a consequence
, we live in a perfect society . On the ground that we have a healthy body
as well as
a healthy family. Furthermore
, we help to government's economy as long as possible.
To sum up
, healthy
life leads to motivation and Correct article usage
a healthy
according to
reasarching
about disease , Correct your spelling
research
prevention
and have
a healthy diet Wrong verb form
having
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
body
and people
do not need to cure
and paying
extra costs Wrong verb form
pay
for
.Correct pronoun usage
for it
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing the prompt, but there are some areas where you can improve. For instance, your points could be clearer and more developed. Adding more specific examples and explanations will help strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, there are instances where your ideas jump from one to another without clear transitions. Using linking words and phrases more effectively can help to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that make the essay harder to understand. Paying close attention to grammar and sentence structure in future essays will help make your arguments clearer.
coherence cohesion
Your essay begins with a clear introduction and concludes with a summary of your main points. This helps the reader understand the scope of your argument.
task achievement
You have identified a key issue and have addressed it throughout your essay. This shows that you have understood the prompt well.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example