IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There are parents who are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school in some countries. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

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It believes that traditional
school
Use synonyms
 education
aren’t
Change the verb form
isn’t
show examples
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 beneficial as homeschooling
Although
Linking Words
 homeschooling as
approach
Add an article
an approach
the approach
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of
Change preposition
to
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 teaching has its own cons
such
Linking Words
 as lack of social interactions, and scarcity of opportunities to attend remarkable lessons and lectures from professors and teachers, it
also
Linking Words
 has its pros as total focus on one student and absence of bullying accidents One evident advantage towards to homeschooling is that whole time devotes to one student so you can adjust
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
 academic plan based on apprentice progress . That means
instead
Linking Words
 of chasing excellent marks at
school
Use synonyms
 at
price
Add an article
a price
the price
show examples
 of his mental health your
child
Use synonyms
 will try to grasp the topic. On top of that, let’s not forget that at
school
Use synonyms
 is
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 probability of being bullied by delinquents .
Subsequently
Linking Words
 in case if you teach your
child
Use synonyms
 at your own flat ,unpredictable situations with deplorable aftermaths
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not appear for your beloved offspring.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 homeschooling allows you
establish
Fix the infinitive
to establish
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connection
Add an article
a connection
show examples
 with your
child
Use synonyms
 so that both of you gain only profit
out of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 it
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, homeschooling isn’t without drawbacks and it isn’t
absolutely
Add an article
an absolutely
the absolutely
show examples
 immaculate way of teaching
Linking Words
according
Change preposition
due
show examples
 to some major disadvantages sort
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 lack of communicational interaction in
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 and
requirement
Correct article usage
the requirement
show examples
 of being literate person in many different science
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
 for parents. By
taking
Verb problem
apply
show examples
participants
Replace the word
participating
show examples
 in
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
Change preposition
at
show examples
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of learning,
such
Linking Words
 as
school
Use synonyms
, students
are becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 quite liberated and unchained
this
Linking Words
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
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also
Linking Words
could play
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
its
Change the word
a
show examples
 role in
acquaintance
Add an article
the acquaintance
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the apprentice
show examples
apprentice
Correct article usage
the apprentice
show examples
 with his peers and not only . Referring to
Linking Words
last
Change the article
the last
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 point students must interact with each other . As it was justified by challenging each other they could
succeeded
Change the verb form
succeed
show examples
 in
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
discipline
Fix the agreement mistake
disciplines
show examples
,by conferring and giving suggestions they can grow not only intellectually but
also
Linking Words
 personally .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was mentioned for homeschooling method is compulsory for parents to be versatile in terms of science because as your
child
Use synonyms
 grows
this
Linking Words
 necessity
also
Linking Words
 rises Summarizing
foregoing
Correct article usage
the foregoing
show examples
while
Linking Words
 there are some nuances in homeschooling as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a way of teaching ,giving education at home is steadily gaining popularity. Both benefits and challenges of homeschooling must be carefully considered to determine if
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
 education path is suitable for
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 needs

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introduction
Make sure to start with a clear thesis statement in your introduction. This will guide your entire essay and make your main argument more explicit.
logical structure
The essay should follow a logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph flows naturally to the next. Using transitional phrases can make this smoother.
supported main points
Elaborate on your main points with specific examples and explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
general
Work on your grammar and vocabulary to ensure clarity. Simple, clear sentences are often more effective than complex ones with errors.
conclusion
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes your key points and restates your main argument. This will provide a sense of closure and completeness to your essay.
content
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling, showing a balanced view on the topic.
content
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the importance of social interactions and academic focus in a child’s education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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