IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #foods #customers #goods
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In today's world, the debate surrounding environmental protection has become a central topic of public discourse. Some support the idea that providers
such
 as
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
 and supermarkets should reduce the amount of packaging of foods,
while
 others argue that
customers
 should avoid buying
goods
 with fancy packaging.
While
 acknowledging the merit of both perspectives, I am more inclined towards the latter. In support of the second perspective, my agreement is primarily shaped by its logical coherence that
customers
's actions of buying
goods
 with
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
 packaging play a pivotal role in reducing the production of
such
goods
.
This
 stance is firmly grounded in the belief that demands create supplies,
according to
 economic theory. A significant study from Hong Kong University confirmed that the production of soy sauce dramatically decreased during the COVID-19 period,
further
 reinforcing
this
 view. It is
also
 important to consider that people have a stereotype that presents should come with complicated packaging,
this
 phenomenon is especially typical in Japan, largely
due to
 their tradition.
Thus
, it enhances the trend of heavy packaging.
Therefore
, there are numerous compelling arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
 viewpoint.
On the other hand
, the opposing position offers several logical arguments, including the notion that providers bear the responsibility of reducing packaging. The basis of
this
 viewpoint depends on the fact that supermarkets have the right to display fancy packaging of
goods
 in places that lure
customers
Change noun form
customers'
customer's
show examples
 attention.
However
, it is crucial to recognize that
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
 serve as the initiators of less packaging in production, mainly
due to
 the fact that they are just the agents in the sales chain.
For instance
, a recent government analysis showed that. These considerations make me hesitant to fully endorse
this
 perspective. In conclusion, after thoroughly examining both sides, my conviction in the assertion that
customers
 are responsible for buying
simplify
Replace the word
simple
show examples
 packaging
goods
.
Submitted by 994620786 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument and presents your stance clearly. This helps set the stage for a balanced discussion.
logical structure
While the essay follows a logical structure, consider making smoother transitions between your points to improve overall flow. This will help in coherence and cohesion.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific and relevant examples to substantiate your points. This will add depth to your discussion and create a stronger case.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly reaffirms your stance, providing a clear closing to your discussion.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured with distinct paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, making it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • supply chain
  • sustainable packaging alternatives
  • industry standards
  • consumer behavior
  • informed purchasing decisions
  • market pressure
  • environmental impact
  • conscientious shopping habits
  • financial resources
  • research and development
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