All large companies should provide sports and social facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Nowadays, many people believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
giant
corporations
need to provide leisure
facilities
such
us
sports and social places to the local Correct your spelling
as
resident
. I totally agree with Fix the agreement mistake
residents
this
point of view and I will discuss the issue in the following passage.
In practical term
, Fix the agreement mistake
terms
giant
corporations
need to contribute to the
society. In order to accelerate the project and reduce Correct article usage
apply
a
financial burden Correct article usage
the
from
communicating with local Change preposition
of
resident
, Fix the agreement mistake
residents
build
Wrong verb form
building
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
leisure facilities
a leisure facility
leisure
facilities
such
as sports area
or social Fix the agreement mistake
areas
complex
is more Fix the agreement mistake
complexes
efficiently
and Change the word
efficient
effectively
to persuade and union local people willing to Change the word
effective
support
the proposal of company
. Add an article
a company
the company
For example
, in order to build the nuclear power station, the Taiwan electric
Correct your spelling
Electric Company
company
provides subsidies and build
not only basic infrastructure but favourable Correct subject-verb agreement
builds
leisure
facilities
like swimming
pool, municipal building and social Correct article usage
a swimming
facilities
nearby
the station in south Taiwan.
Correct your spelling
near
On the other hand
, provide
Wrong verb form
providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
leisure
facilities
can improve Correct article usage
the company
company
Change noun form
company's
image
. To earn the support
from local residents, build
Wrong verb form
building
leisure
facilities
not only can boost the local surroundings but promoting
the Wrong verb form
also promote
company
image
. It can slightly reduce the burden of promoting from
making Change preposition
by
advertisement
, and Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
strengthen
the willingness Wrong verb form
strengthening
from
local Change preposition
of
resident
meanwhile Fix the agreement mistake
residents
avoid
extra Wrong verb form
avoiding
image
cost
when the corporation Fix the agreement mistake
costs
intend
to build new projects in the future. Change the verb form
intends
For instance
, the
recent research concluded that the Taiwan Correct article usage
apply
electric
Capitalize word
Electric
company
’s financial circumstance experienced a sharp downward trend after they provide
the Wrong verb form
provided
leisure
facilities
and the questionnaire appear
that over 70% Verb problem
shows
local
Change preposition
of local
resident
have the willingness to Fix the agreement mistake
residents
continuous
Change the word
continuously
support
the company
in the future.
To sum up
, as a result
of
Change preposition
apply
giant
corporations
need to receive support
from local people and improve company
Correct pronoun usage
their company
image
, I totally agree with
that Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
giant
corporations
should build leisure
facilities
for the local resident
.Fix the agreement mistake
residents
Submitted by wang1sh1ng on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, and your main points are generally well supported. To improve further, make sure to refine your argument and provide more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. Some of your sentences are difficult to follow, which affects the overall clarity of your essay. Revising for grammatical accuracy will help enhance your coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will help to make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well by providing both reasons why large companies should provide sports and social facilities.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, which helps in framing your arguments effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!