IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that students should be required to wear uniforms in school, while others argue that uniforms restrict individuality and self-expression. What is your opinion?

#people #students #uniforms #school #individuality #self-expression
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Some people argue that it is
compulsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 for
students's
Remove the s
students'
show examples
 clothes to be common,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 others think that these uniforms can prevent the variety stemming from different characteristics. From my perspective, the former one seems to be more appropriate. The students have
Correct article usage
the rights
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rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
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 to decide their own appearances independently.
However
, under
school
Correct article usage
the school
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 roof, they should be only
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
uniform
 to make the education environment more formal. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals who agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
former
Correct article usage
the former
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 idea come from
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
 generations. The main reason for
this
 prioritization is their love for simple style. The popular
of
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apply
show examples
dot patterns
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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externent
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an excellent
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 example.
In addition
, wearing
uniform
Add an article
a uniform
show examples
 makes the school more fair. In the same outfits, the differences
from
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between
show examples
 pupils can be minimized, which can be demonstrated by a study of
Bostan
Correct your spelling
Boston
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 lately showed that we
Add a missing verb
are incline
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incline
Replace the word
inclined
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 to make friends with similar people.
Nevertheless
, there are
also
numnerous
Correct your spelling
numerous
 causes making others prefer the second choice. We are living in a society
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 human rights
plays
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play
show examples
 crucial roles.
Therefore
, in their opinion, the clothes should be free because it is used as a self-expression method, to make them feel special and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of freedom. In conclusion, whether the
undergraduated
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
undergraduates
wear
Correct subject-verb agreement
wears
show examples
uniform
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 a head-aching conflict. Someone
say
Change the verb form
says
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 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 is no need to remove the
ranges
Fix the agreement mistake
range
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 of fashionable things from schools.
But
Correct word choice
However
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 I believe the
uniform
 has its own beauty and should be preserved because it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discrimination between states.
Submitted by 22028151 on

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grammatical accuracy
Review grammatical rules to reduce errors and enhance clarity in your writing.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. Broaden your range of arguments to make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs and main ideas to improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion and made an effort to support it with reasons.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps structure your response well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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