The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The chart

give

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gives

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information about

Australia

Correct your spelling

Australian

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employment type categorized by sex in the previous year.

Overall

Linking Words

, there are more

Use synonyms

men

Correct your spelling

male

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employee

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employees

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than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

Use synonyms

working in Australia. The domination of

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men

Correct your spelling

male

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employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

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happened in most

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sector

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sectors

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except professionals and

clerical

Correct article usage

the clerical

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sector

Use synonyms

On Those

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In those

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two

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sector

Fix the agreement mistake

sectors

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women

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being

Wrong verb form

were

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majority

Correct article usage

the majority

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number with 700.000 per 1.350.000 as professionals and 980.000 per 1.800.000 as

clericals

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clerical

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Then

Linking Words

The

Correct article usage

apply

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clerical

women

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identified

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were identified

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most

Correct article usage

the most

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category.With only those two

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sector

Change to a plural noun

sectors

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dominated by

women

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another category

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other categories

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such

Linking Words

as manager, semi-professional, tradespeople, production and laborer

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sector

Fix the agreement mistake

sectors

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are dominated by

men

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. The highest gap between gender showed in

tradespeople

Correct article usage

the tradespeople

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sector

Use synonyms

, as the

men

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Change the verb form

are

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8 times more than the

women

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Moreover

Linking Words

, there are far more

men

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employed as managers, the

numbers

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number

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men

Use synonyms

Verb problem

has

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almost tripled

women

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with only 200.000

employee

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employees

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In contrast

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the laborer

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laborer

Change the spelling

labourer

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sector

Use synonyms

only

Add a missing verb

has a

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difference of 110.000 approximately. In conclusion, the employment

sector

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in Australia in

Add an article

the previous

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year is dominated by

men

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in most

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sector

Fix the agreement mistake

sectors

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except clerical and professional.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Tue Jun 18 2024

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, sector with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

162 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

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The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Advances in health and biology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Write about the following topic. Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?