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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
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The information from the charts shows four destinations of
UK
Use synonyms
 graduates and postgraduates in 2008 other than getting into full-time
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of both
UK
Use synonyms
 graduate and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 went to
further
Linking Words
 study in 2008, followed by part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and unemployment.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the least of
students
Use synonyms
 went to voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 after they graduated from college. It can be seen that almost 30
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
UK
Use synonyms
 bachelors continued their
studis
Correct your spelling
studies
studios
. Contrarily, 17,735
students
Use synonyms
 went to part-time
work
Use synonyms
, 16,235 were unemployed, and 3,500 got into voluntary
work
Use synonyms
. Moving on to the
UK
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 with master’s degrees, most of them got into
further
Linking Words
 study by 2,725
students
Use synonyms
, 2,535
students
Use synonyms
 went to part-time
work
Use synonyms
, and unemployment comes in third place as
UK
Use synonyms
 postgraduate student’s destination after they received their degree.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, less than five hundred
students
Use synonyms
 went to voluntary
work
Use synonyms
, and voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 was the least place chosen by both
UK
Use synonyms
 graduate and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 in 2008.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, work, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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