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Band 5

Plastic bags, bottles and packaging are bad for the environment Written by IELTS Mentor IELTS IELTS Essay:

#plastic #bags #bottles #environment #ielts #mentor
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Nature is the beauty of the Earth. In
this
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 fast-paced world, people are becoming oblivious, and are overlooking its significance.
Therefore
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, the masses have initiated the usage of
plastic
Use synonyms
 in the production of certain items.
However
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, it is generally perceived that it enhances global warming immensely. Let's discuss its drawbacks to the environment in the following paragraphs. Adopting the use of
plastic
Use synonyms
 to ease the day to day activities is adversely affecting the environment.
For instance
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, numerous products are being kept and sold in
plastic
Use synonyms
 bags
such
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 as confectionary items, snacks, beauty products, water bottles & so on.
Thereafter
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, the consumer and the manufacturing industries throw all the
plastic
Use synonyms
 garbage either in the sea or on the ground which
further
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 puts the aquatic life in danger and accelerates soil degradation, respectively.
In addition
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 to
this
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, the lying garbage on the ground gives rise to bacteria and an awful smell which generates perilous diseases for human beings and livestock. To resolve the issue, the authority should put several precise restrictions. To exemplify, the government can ban the usage of
plastic
Use synonyms
 and can refrain
its
Change preposition
from its
show examples
 production. What is more, management should make new
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 and strictly penalize the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 Who
try
Change the verb form
tries
show examples
 to violate
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
However
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, the matter of protecting the atmosphere is not only confined
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
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 but an individual can
also
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 equally participate
to demolish
Change preposition
in demolishing
show examples
this
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 action. Masses can create awareness by launching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
campaigns and putting
recycle
Replace the word
recycling
show examples
 bins in different areas.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
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, Tutors can
also
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 teach their disciples the harmful
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 of using
plastic
Use synonyms
 water bottles and bags and can recommend them
of using
Change preposition
to use
show examples
 bag packs made of clothes.
To sum up
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, it can be concluded that earth is our goddess and we should treat it in the same manner. In my opinion, we have the one who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the power to ruin it or save it.
Therefore
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, we all should take a stand to eradicate
this
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 evil practice.
Submitted by komalverma271999 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on a single idea. The second body paragraph, for example, discusses multiple points that could be more effective if separated.
general
Several spelling and grammatical mistakes slightly hinder the flow of your essay. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and singular-plural consistency.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points more comprehensively. For instance, mention specific species affected by plastic in the oceans or cite studies regarding plastic pollution.
general
Work on sentence variety to improve readability. Using various sentence structures can make your essay more engaging.
introduction
The introduction is engaging and provides a clear indication of the essay’s content.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and calls for action, which adds strength to the argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task adequately by discussing both the drawbacks of plastic and suggesting solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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