IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries，it is now possible for people to buy products made in other countries. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problems?

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In today’s globalized world, it is common to find
products
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 from various countries in local markets.
While
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 some people believe that imported
goods
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 are of superior
quality
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 and come from renowned brands, they argue that the government should impose restrictions on these
products
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 to promote local
industries
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. I disagree with
this
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 viewpoint and believe that the benefits of allowing international
products
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 far outweigh the disadvantages. One of the primary reasons for permitting the free entry of foreign
goods
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 is the variety and
quality
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 they offer. International
products
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 often undergo rigorous
quality
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 control and use advanced technology, ensuring that consumers receive high-
quality
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 items.
For instance
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, electronic devices from countries like Japan and South Korea are renowned for their reliability and innovation. By allowing
such
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products
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 into the local market, consumers can benefit from the best that global technology has to offer.
Furthermore
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, the presence of international brands fosters competition, which can be beneficial for local
industries
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. Competition drives local companies to improve their standards, innovate, and offer better value for money to their customers.
This
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 can lead to an
overall
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 improvement in the
quality
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 of locally produced
goods
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.
For example
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, the entry of global automobile giants has compelled local car manufacturers to enhance their production techniques and customer service to remain competitive.
Additionally
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, the influx of international
products
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 can have significant economic benefits. When multinational companies set up operations in a country, they create job opportunities and contribute to the local economy through taxes and investments.
For instance
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, the establishment of international retail chains and manufacturing units provides employment to thousands of local residents and boosts economic growth.
However
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, it is
also
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 essential to recognize the need to support local
industries
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. Governments can achieve
this
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 by providing subsidies, tax incentives, and research grants to local businesses. These measures can help local companies grow and compete on a global scale without resorting to protectionist policies that restrict the free flow of
goods
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. In conclusion,
while
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 the
quality
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 and prestige of international
products
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 cannot be denied, imposing restrictions on them is not the solution.
Instead
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, fostering a competitive environment and supporting local
industries
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 through positive measures can lead to sustainable economic growth and ensure that consumers have access to the best
products
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 from around the world.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that the government should not restrict the entry of foreign
products
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 but should
instead
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 focus on empowering local businesses to compete effectively.

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task achievement
While this is a well-written essay, words or phrases like 'from renowned brands' and 'boosts economic growth' could be elaborated further to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
To enhance cohesion, use more varied linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas. This will help maintain the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay starts with a clear introduction and ends with a strong conclusion that reinforces the main argument, showcasing a high level of coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples, such as Japanese and South Korean electronic devices and the impact of multinational companies, effectively supports the arguments presented.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international trade
  • cultural exchange
  • economic growth
  • local industries
  • global economies
  • carbon footprint
  • quality standards
  • competitive pricing
  • consumer choice
  • importing goods
  • foreign products
  • economic integration
  • environmental impact
  • developing nations
  • market competition
  • globalization
  • trade barriers
  • tariffs
  • supply chain
  • sustainability
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