Despite a large number of gyms , a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this ? What solutions can you suggest?
Although
,
in the Remove the comma
apply
world
there are lots of gyms, Add a comma
world,
people
are becoming lazy in the contemporary world day
by day
.
The number of techniques
improving every day
. It effects
badly for Correct your spelling
affects
people
's health
and other things. Because of
many Change preposition
apply
people
have got their own dish washer
, washing machine and other Correct your spelling
dishwasher
techniques
, so especially females become fat step
by step
. They should not clean their own house . Techniques
work at their home. Such
as : nowadays noone
walking, Correct your spelling
no one
more
and more Correct word choice
and more
people
purchase
Wrong verb form
are purchasing
car
. They can go somewhere by car. Works are done by machines . Fix the agreement mistake
cars
Thus
, many people
are becoming sedentary
lifestyle. All the issues will Add an article
a sedentary
be appear
from the sickness. The main reason is Change the verb form
appear
techniques
which it effects negatively for people
's health
and weightless.
On the other hand
, people
should try to clean own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
flat
or Fix the agreement mistake
flats
running
every morning in their own street. It will be more Wrong verb form
run
effectively
for Change the word
effective
health
and their mood. Running and clean weather are increasing Correct pronoun usage
their health
people
's energy. Moreover
, companies should reduce the production of technologies. For instance
, they have to go to the gym with their own friends or family members. Because of gym
is very significant and captivating for Add an article
the gym
a gym
people
. In that
days , in my Correct determiner usage
those
country
more Add a comma
country,
girl's
Change noun form
girls'
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
is
opening Correct subject-verb agreement
are
day
by day
. However
they do not have desire , so they are addicted to sedentary
lifestyle.
In conclusion, Add an article
a sedentary
people
should clean and go out without car
and Correct article usage
a car
techniques
. Thus
, people
's health
will be better step
by step
and illness are
decrease . It is very good for Verb problem
will
people
.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that all ideas are clearly expressed and avoid any ambiguous statements. Some of the sentences are unclear and could confuse the reader. It's important to make sure that your main points are easily understood.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas. This will make your argument more convincing and relatable. Try to illustrate your points with concrete examples.
introduction conclusion present
While your introduction and conclusion are present, improve their effectiveness. Begin with a more engaging introduction to capture the reader's attention and end with a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points more effectively.
complete response
You have addressed the task by discussing both the problems associated with a sedentary lifestyle and suggesting solutions. This shows a clear understanding of the task requirements.
supported main points
Your essay highlights some key issues linked to a sedentary lifestyle, such as the use of modern appliances reducing physical activity. This demonstrates an awareness of the topic's relevance.