Despite a large number of gyms , a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this ? What solutions can you suggest?
Although
Linking Words
,
in the Remove the comma
apply
world
there are lots of gyms, Add a comma
world,
people
are becoming lazy in the contemporary world Use synonyms
day
by Use synonyms
day
.
The number of Use synonyms
techniques
improving every Use synonyms
day
. It Use synonyms
effects
badly for Correct your spelling
affects
people
's Use synonyms
health
and other things. Because Use synonyms
of
many Change preposition
apply
people
have got their own Use synonyms
dish washer
, washing machine and other Correct your spelling
dishwasher
techniques
, so especially females become fat Use synonyms
step
by Use synonyms
step
. They should not clean their own house . Use synonyms
Techniques
work at their home. Use synonyms
Such
as : nowadays Linking Words
noone
walking, Correct your spelling
no one
more
and more Correct word choice
and more
people
Use synonyms
purchase
Wrong verb form
are purchasing
car
. They can go somewhere by car. Works are done by machines . Fix the agreement mistake
cars
Thus
, many Linking Words
people
are becoming Use synonyms
sedentary
lifestyle. All the issues will Add an article
a sedentary
be appear
from the sickness. The main reason is Change the verb form
appear
techniques
which it effects negatively for Use synonyms
people
's Use synonyms
health
and weightless.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
people
should try to clean Use synonyms
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
flat
or Fix the agreement mistake
flats
running
every morning in their own street. It will be more Wrong verb form
run
effectively
for Change the word
effective
Use synonyms
health
and their mood. Running and clean weather are increasing Correct pronoun usage
their health
people
's energy. Use synonyms
Moreover
, companies should reduce the production of technologies. Linking Words
For instance
, they have to go to the gym with their own friends or family members. Because of Linking Words
gym
is very significant and captivating for Add an article
the gym
a gym
people
. In Use synonyms
that
days , in my Correct determiner usage
those
country
more Add a comma
country,
girl's
Change noun form
girls'
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
is
opening Correct subject-verb agreement
are
day
by Use synonyms
day
. Use synonyms
However
they do not have desire , so they are addicted to Linking Words
sedentary
lifestyle.
In conclusion, Add an article
a sedentary
people
should clean and go out without Use synonyms
car
and Correct article usage
a car
techniques
. Use synonyms
Thus
, Linking Words
people
's Use synonyms
health
will be better Use synonyms
step
by Use synonyms
step
and illness Use synonyms
are
decrease . It is very good for Verb problem
will
people
.Use synonyms
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that all ideas are clearly expressed and avoid any ambiguous statements. Some of the sentences are unclear and could confuse the reader. It's important to make sure that your main points are easily understood.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas. This will make your argument more convincing and relatable. Try to illustrate your points with concrete examples.
introduction conclusion present
While your introduction and conclusion are present, improve their effectiveness. Begin with a more engaging introduction to capture the reader's attention and end with a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points more effectively.
complete response
You have addressed the task by discussing both the problems associated with a sedentary lifestyle and suggesting solutions. This shows a clear understanding of the task requirements.
supported main points
Your essay highlights some key issues linked to a sedentary lifestyle, such as the use of modern appliances reducing physical activity. This demonstrates an awareness of the topic's relevance.