IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #city #travel #car #bicycles
Some
people
 consider that in a
city
 the best way to journey is by
car
,
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 other
people
 contend that
bicyles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
 are a better method of travelling in a
city
. The bicycles and
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
car
Add a verb
car are
car were
show examples
 very pleasant to journey.
People
 find both sides acceptable.
Also
, there are two types of
city
 circulation
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bicycles and
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. On the one hand, you can get around the
city
 quickly by
car
.
People
 drive more to places they have not seen yet and
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 complete
city
 trips and other tasks faster by
car
, if you travel in the
city
 by
car
 you cannot get the
city
 air from the
car
.
For example
, many tourists drive to get around the
city
 faster. Too they use the
car
 to get around the
city
 faster than in
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
 of the
city
.
On the other hand
, cycling around the
city
 will be more convenient and interesting.
City
 walks are more accessible to
city
 dwellers, and for travellers, cycling around the
city
 seemed a little inconvenient.
For example
, walking around the
city
 seemed interesting for travellers and they cycle around the
city
 even if it is only for one term. Bicycles around town
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 about enjoying the
people
 and the outdoors. In conclusion, I think that a
car
 is suitable for those who can get around the
city
 faster, and a bicycle is suitable for those who can easily get around the
city
.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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task response
Work on developing your main points more thoroughly and provide clearer examples and explanations to support them. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct idea to improve coherence. Additionally, use linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which help frame the discussion appropriately.
complete response
The essay addresses both sides of the debate, showing an awareness of different viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • maintenance
  • eco-friendly
  • infrastructure
  • physical health
  • suitable
  • weather conditions
  • traffic
  • repair costs
  • cycling infrastructure
  • fuel costs
  • carrying heavy loads
  • physical limitations
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