IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In recent years, more and more people tend to live individually. What are the causes of this trend? Does this have a positive or negative effect on society?

#years #people #trend #effect #society
Nowadays, a vast number of people prefer to have a solitary life
due to
 several reasons,
such
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the high cost of living, failure in marriages in society, and higher workloads preventing people from socializing. All these would be negatively impactful in the future as the country will experience negative natality. Factually,
due to
 inflation, the cost of living is getting higher and higher each year. One example is the price of a landed house or a flat which becomes less affordable to buy, with about
10
Correct article usage
a 10
show examples
% increase year on year. Clothing and food prices hike drastically as well,
as a result
 of global warming and natural disasters. A clear example is that previously the price of rice was no more than 10.000 rupiahs, now it exceeds 15.000 rupiahs. Another reason is the reality existing in our community that marriages fail and divorces have become more common in recent years. Surprisingly, finance is one of the main reasons for
this
 failure. In the media, it has become common to find actors or artists who have a divorce.
This
 results in the fear of youths taking a step into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marital life.
Last
 but not least, the heavy workloads that workers have, prevent them from having a social life. the burden hinders them from having dates or hanging out owing to the exhaustion that they experience once they have finished work. On weekends, they
also
 prefer having a rest at home, doing their hobbies or playing games to fulfil their needs for entertainment.
To sum up
, because of the increased living cost, failure in relationships and too much work at work, the majority of people would rather stay single than be in a relationship. The negative impact is that the ageing population will not be replaced by younger generations as the natality is minus.
Submitted by kelly on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that each main point is elaborated with adequate depth and breadth. More examples or evidence can strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical flow, make sure to use clear connectors for smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
The essay responds fully to the task and covers the causes and effects comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally well-supported with examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: