IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the diagram below shows the environmental issues raised by a product over its life cycle

the diagram below shows the environmental issues raised by a product over its life cycle
The graphs below
delineates
Correct subject-verb agreement
delineate
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 the
eviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 problems of a
product
Use synonyms
 timeline.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are seven total steps from designing the
product
Use synonyms
, producing the
product
Use synonyms
,
saling
Correct your spelling
selling
 the
product
Use synonyms
 and either disposing it away or recycling the
product
Use synonyms
. The first step before anything
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 is to make the
product
Use synonyms
.
Depend
Wrong verb form
Depending
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 on what
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
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 of
product
Use synonyms
, it can take many feedbacks till the final result. Once the design is complete, materials and energy resources
get
Verb problem
are
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 consumed in order to start production. The two steps have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 negative impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. After producing
Use synonyms
product
Add an article
a product
the product
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, they get packed and
distribute
Wrong verb form
distributed
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 to different stores or markets where they get
saled
Correct your spelling
sold
 to customers. Most
products
Use synonyms
 need to be put in plastic bags which directly
hurt
Wrong verb form
hurts
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 the
Use synonyms
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. Being used by customers, most
products
Use synonyms
 are thrown to disposal after a
while
Linking Words
 of usage which can hurt the
Use synonyms
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
base
Replace the word
based
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 on what type of
products
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some
products
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of being thrown away
are being recycle
Change the verb form
are being recycled
are recycling
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 becoming materials for other
products
Use synonyms
 to be created helping the
Use synonyms
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words product, enviroment, products with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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