In the recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enchancing drugs in sports. what are the consequences of doping for the athlete? what measure should be taken to combat this issue?
So many athletes are very ambitious to win the
game
, however
, the news of athletes consuming drugs to boost their performance are
not something very odd. Change the verb form
is
This
phenomenon absolutely leads to something negative. This
essay will discuss the negative outcomes of doping including the action
to beat this
phenomenon.
Initially
, in 2024, the sport
industry fully recovered after Change the noun form
sports
Covid-19
, in the Correct your spelling
COVID-19
meantime
the number of drugs doping is rapidly growing especially in the basketball industry. Add a comma
meantime,
Aztemizole
, Correct your spelling
Astemizole
Terfinadine
, and Ferfomin are the most consumed by the Correct your spelling
Terfenadine
players
. Moreover
, the risk of drug
consumption such
as addiction, bad behavior, and lack of concentration becoming
the main problem of Wrong verb form
becomes
this
action
. Drug
addiction is not only bad for the player, but it also
affects the whole team. For instance
, a basketball club in Jakarta disbanded because of a lack of trust Change preposition
among
between
the Change preposition
among
players
Change preposition
regarding
with
a Change preposition
regarding
pills
issue.
Fix the agreement mistake
pill
Furthermore
, giving a drug
education for the players
are
one of the preventive ways to avoid Change the verb form
is
drug
consumption. However
, to beat this
problem the stakeholder
especially the club management should take serious Fix the agreement mistake
stakeholders
action
such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
drug
testing twice a month, and giving a penalty for those who tested
positive. Wrong verb form
test
Last
season, a couple of players
in the Chicago Bulls tested positive, Nor should the players
be in a game
until the end of season
.
Add an article
the season
To conclude
, even though winning the game
is important, so is keeping the game
fair and healthy. Becoming addicted to doping, not
only bad for the athlete but Add a missing verb
is not
also
for the team, hence
the management should take a
serious Correct article usage
apply
action
like drug
testing to keep the industry well.Submitted by ed.janurrsptn on
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task achievement
Your essay covers both the negative consequences of doping and measures to combat it, but it lacks depth and detail in some areas. For example, while you mention addiction and bad behavior, you could expand on how these specifically impact the athlete's career and personal life.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay could be improved. The transition between the general statement about doping and the specific example of the basketball industry is abrupt. Consider using more transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that make it difficult to understand some parts of your essay. For example, "the number of drugs doping is rapidly growing especially in the basketball industry" could be clearer. Consider revising for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, such as the case of the basketball club in Jakarta and the Chicago Bulls, which add credibility to your arguments.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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