In the recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enchancing drugs in sports. what are the consequences of doping for the athlete? what measure should be taken to combat this issue?

#years #rise #drugs #sports #consequences #athlete #measure #combat

So many athletes are very ambitious to win the

game

however

, the news of athletes consuming drugs to boost their performance

are

Change the verb form

show examples

not something very odd.

This

phenomenon absolutely leads to something negative.

This

essay will discuss the negative outcomes of doping including the

action

to beat

this

phenomenon.

Initially

, in 2024, the

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

industry fully recovered after

Covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

, in the

meantime

Add a comma

meantime,

show examples

the number of drugs doping is rapidly growing especially in the basketball industry.

Aztemizole

Correct your spelling

Astemizole

Terfinadine

Correct your spelling

Terfenadine

, and Ferfomin are the most consumed by the

players

Moreover

, the risk of

drug

consumption

such

as addiction, bad behavior, and lack of concentration

becoming

Wrong verb form

becomes

show examples

the main problem of

this

action

Drug

addiction is not only bad for the player, but it

also

affects the whole team.

For instance

, a basketball club in Jakarta disbanded because of a lack of trust

Change preposition

among

show examples

between

Change preposition

among

show examples

the

players

Change preposition

regarding

show examples

with

Change preposition

regarding

show examples

pills

Fix the agreement mistake

pill

show examples

issue.

Furthermore

, giving a

drug

education for the

players

are

Change the verb form

show examples

one of the preventive ways to avoid

drug

consumption.

However

, to beat

this

problem the

stakeholder

Fix the agreement mistake

stakeholders

show examples

especially the club management should take serious

action

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

drug

testing twice a month, and giving a penalty for those who

tested

Wrong verb form

test

show examples

positive.

Last

season, a couple of

players

in the Chicago Bulls tested positive, Nor should the

players

be in a

game

until the end of

season

Add an article

the season

show examples

To conclude

, even though winning the

game

is important, so is keeping the

game

fair and healthy. Becoming addicted to doping,

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

only bad for the athlete but

also

for the team,

hence

the management should take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

serious

action

drug

testing to keep the industry well.

Submitted by ed.janurrsptn on Wed Jun 19 2024

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task achievement

Your essay covers both the negative consequences of doping and measures to combat it, but it lacks depth and detail in some areas. For example, while you mention addiction and bad behavior, you could expand on how these specifically impact the athlete's career and personal life.

coherence cohesion

The logical flow of your essay could be improved. The transition between the general statement about doping and the specific example of the basketball industry is abrupt. Consider using more transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly.

coherence cohesion

There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that make it difficult to understand some parts of your essay. For example, "the number of drugs doping is rapidly growing especially in the basketball industry" could be clearer. Consider revising for clarity and grammatical accuracy.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay.

task achievement

You provide specific examples, such as the case of the basketball club in Jakarta and the Chicago Bulls, which add credibility to your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enchancing drugs in sports. what are the consequences of doping for the athlete? what measure should be taken to combat this issue?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You have begun a new course at university and the professor gave you the first assignment of the course.You are not sure how to write the assignment. Write an email to your professor.In your letter: State your purpose Explain the problem Ask for an appoinment to discuss it

Today, many people do not realise the importance of the natural world. Why is this? How can people be encouraged to learn more about how important the natural world is?

The only way to reduce drug is to legalise the substances and bring them under control. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

High school students are usually not good at managing money. What are the reasons? What are the solutions?

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?