IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that a good planning is the key factor success in life. Others think there are more important factors (hard work or luck). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is believed that the factor of success is
a
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apply
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good planning,
whereas
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 it is thought that
people
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 have more important
factors
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 to be successful.
Although
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people
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 have more chances to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 by planning their steps, there are other
factors
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, namely hard
work
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 and
luck
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 which help
people
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
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achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
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.
A planning
Correct the article-noun agreement
Planning
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 steps lead to success effectively
sicne
Correct your spelling
since
 If
people
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 plan their steps, they can see the results of their
work
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 or study as
quick
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quickly
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 as
possoble
Correct your spelling
possible
,
also
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 it helps them see their weaknesses.
For example
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, the researchers from Japan
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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experimented on primary school pupils, where they found out that pupils could get higher marks when they plan their way of study.
Therefore
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,
a
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apply
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good planning is one of the ways to be successful.
However
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, hard
work
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 and
luck
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 something that individuals can not ignore, If they want to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
. Because these two
factors
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 can be
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 for being successful,
nevertheles
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
 it takes a lot of time and effort.
For example
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,
russian
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Russian
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 researchers discovered by experimenting on high school students that students could achieve their
goal
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goals
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 by studying hard despite of they did not have any plans, which was followed by
luck
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, as well.
Hence
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, hard
work
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 and
luck
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 are
the
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apply
show examples
part of achieving success. In conclusion, It is found that
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
plannig
Correct your spelling
planning
 is not only
key
Correct article usage
a key
show examples
 factor
of
Change preposition
in
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successful
Add an article
a successful
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 life, but
also
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 there
Add a missing verb
are another
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another
Replace the adjective
another factor
other factors
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factors
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such
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 as hard
work
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 and
luck
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 that can help
people
Use synonyms
 achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
.
As a result
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, it is recommended that
people
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 ought to combine all these
factors
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 and find
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
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 between them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they want to become
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Work on a more sophisticated structure for the essay with clearer paragraph delineation. Ensure that each paragraph is dedicated to a single idea and that transitions are seamless and logical between paragraphs.
task achievement
Reduce minor grammatical errors, such as spelling and punctuation mistakes, that can distract from the readability of your essay. Consider proofreading more thoroughly or using tools to catch these errors.
task achievement
You have provided clear examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay and provide a cohesive structure from beginning to end.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • success
  • good planning
  • goals
  • objectives
  • allocation of resources
  • uncertainty
  • productivity
  • hard work
  • diligence
  • perseverance
  • skill development
  • continuous improvement
  • challenges
  • setbacks
  • luck
  • opportunities
  • favorable circumstances
  • outcome
  • personal opinion
  • crucial
  • unpredictable
  • remain open
What to do next:
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