IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Today more and more people wants things instantly ( e.g goods, services, news). Why is this? It is positive or negative development.

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Presently, there is a rise in humans' need for adaptive factors in their
lives
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, which derives from the lack of
quality
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 of habitants'
lives
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due to
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 the
government
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.
However
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,
this
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 writer believes that
this
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 is a positive development because of improving the
quality
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 of
life
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 and growth of the ideal city. It must be understood that the more the
government
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 pays attention to improving goods, news..., the more instant necessary of
inhabitants
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 is.
This
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 is especially so if the
residents
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 complain about the low-
quality
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 facilities because the
government
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 do not improve them immediately. the flexibility and the responsibility of the
government
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 should be increased by paying more fees and bills from
residents
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 so the requirement of the
inhabitants
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 is tackled directly.
For example
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, the higher electricity fees are spent for the
government
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, the
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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stronger the electricity is. Another argument worth considering is that more
things
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 provided for
residents
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 can positively impact the
quality
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 of their
lives
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.
Firstly
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, they will require more and more beneficial
things
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 to enjoy or adapt to their
life
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 efficiently and comfortably. So they have to spend money for the
government
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 to buy these
things
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 to tackle the problems of their
life
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.
As a result
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, the
inhabitants
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'
lives
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 will be improved dramatically.
Then
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, the ideal society will succeed. Working in the company,
for example
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, the
employers
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employees
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 have to pay money to buy necessary
things
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such
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 as computers, electricity bills, water fees,... to improve the
quality
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 of work. In conclusion, there are more positive elements than negative, as there are benefits to the
government
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 which provide necessary
things
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 to the
inhabitants
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 for the ideal society.
However
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, Another argument worth considering is that more
things
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 provided for
residents
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 can positively impact the
quality
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 of their
life
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Clarify the connection between government actions and people's instant needs. It’s essential to explain how government actions directly influence people's desire for instant goods, services, and news. This connection is not entirely clear in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument clearly. At times, the relationship between the arguments and the main thesis seems ambiguous. Strengthening these connections can improve coherence.
task achievement
Your essay addresses pertinent points about the role of government and quality of life, adhering to the task.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, which provide a structure to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant gratification
  • Technological advancements
  • Consumer expectations
  • Same-day delivery
  • Streaming platforms
  • Information overload
  • Decision fatigue
  • Environmental implications
  • Societal implications
  • Resource depletion
  • Marketing strategies
  • Consumer satisfaction
  • Quality of life
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