Today more and more people wants things instantly ( e.g goods, services, news). Why is this? It is positive or negative development.
Presently, there is a rise in humans' need for adaptive factors in their
lives
, which derives from the lack of quality
of habitants' lives
due to
the government
. However
, this
writer believes that this
is a positive development because of improving the quality
of life
and growth of the ideal city.
It must be understood that the more the government
pays attention to improving goods, news..., the more instant necessary of inhabitants
is. This
is especially so if the residents
complain about the low-quality
facilities because the government
do not improve them immediately. the flexibility and the responsibility of the government
should be increased by paying more fees and bills from residents
so the requirement of the inhabitants
is tackled directly. For example
, the higher electricity fees are spent for the government
, the much
stronger the electricity is.
Another argument worth considering is that more Fix the agreement mistake
apply
things
provided for residents
can positively impact the quality
of their lives
. Firstly
, they will require more and more beneficial things
to enjoy or adapt to their life
efficiently and comfortably. So they have to spend money for the government
to buy these things
to tackle the problems of their life
. As a result
, the inhabitants
' lives
will be improved dramatically. Then
, the ideal society will succeed. Working in the company, for example
, the employers
have to pay money to buy necessary Correct your spelling
employees
things
such
as computers, electricity bills, water fees,... to improve the quality
of work.
In conclusion, there are more positive elements than negative, as there are benefits to the government
which provide necessary things
to the inhabitants
for the ideal society. However
, Another argument worth considering is that more things
provided for residents
can positively impact the quality
of their life
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task achievement
Clarify the connection between government actions and people's instant needs. It’s essential to explain how government actions directly influence people's desire for instant goods, services, and news. This connection is not entirely clear in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument clearly. At times, the relationship between the arguments and the main thesis seems ambiguous. Strengthening these connections can improve coherence.
task achievement
Your essay addresses pertinent points about the role of government and quality of life, adhering to the task.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, which provide a structure to your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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