People who were born in rural areas often move to big cities when they become adults. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative trend?
Many adults who grew up in rural areas are moving to the big cities. In
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons behind this
trend and evaluate its impact on society
The first things that come to mind when you talk about life in the countryside are (simple, calm and slow passed), as opposed to city life (busy, noisy, wild, and crowded), So when you compare both lifestyles you will believe that living in rural places is better, but that is
just what the media is marketing for us. Unfortunately
Add a comma
Unfortunately,
that is
not the case, Areas with a low population are very hard to live in. For instance
, most countrysides
do not have Advanced Hospitals equipped to face complicated health emergencies leading to deaths that were Correct your spelling
countries
otherwise
avoidable in a big city.
Furthermore
, Citizens of low-populated towns have a very poor lifestyle due to
the lack of government branches, basic needs stores, and most importantly the weak network service which makes them isolated from the rest of the country.
Meanwhile, In the large cities you can literally have it all ( advanced health care, academic education, work opportunities, Correct article usage
a varity
varity
of shops, and Activity centres), and what is amazing is that you can have all these things available at your doorstep by an App or a call, Correct your spelling
variety
that is
the modern life that adults are seeking by moving from rural areas.
To sum up
, I believe that moving to the big towns is a good thing, the pros outweigh the cons. Everything in the countryside is also
available in the city so no one is missing out.Submitted by llaora on
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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point. Currently, your essay lacks clear separation of ideas which can affect the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use more logical connectors to link your ideas and ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Expand your main points with more detailed examples and elaboration. For instance, discuss specific employment opportunities or educational facilities in cities compared to rural areas.
task achievement
Avoid using casual language such as ‘The first things that come to mind...’. Maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay enhances its quality.
task achievement
Correct minor grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes to refine your writing. For example, 'passed' should be 'paced', and 'varity' should be 'variety'.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your argument well.
supported main points
You have identified key reasons for the trend of rural-to-urban migration, providing a basis for your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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