Some people think that children should learn world history. Others believe that it is more important to learn the history of their own country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #world #history #country

There is no denying the fact that children learn faster

while

their

Replace the word

they're

they are

show examples

younger.

While

it is a commonly held belief that learning more about the

world

history

can be attractive

Change preposition

apply

show examples

such

as having background information about the

world

history

and religions, there is

also

an argument that learning about your own

countries

Change noun form

country's

show examples

history

is more valuable and recommended.

This

essay will analyze

this

topic from both points and express my opinion. On one hand, learning more about the

world

history

will make you more developed and having more background information can always be crucial.

In other words

, you will only be wiser and smart.

In addition

, it can come in

hand

Correct your spelling

handy

show examples

when you travel anywhere in the

world

. You know what their

history

is and their religion

also

For example

, business trips or vacations will not be an issue for you.

On the other hand

, learning your own

history

for

Change preposition

show examples

younger ages is

Change the word

apply

show examples

easier and

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

to know your own traditions. It is

also

possible to say that getting to Know how old people lived in the past and how they survived.

Moreover

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

nowadays people's lives changed and how they are dressed,

eating

Wrong verb form

eat

show examples

, and

your

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own traditions.

For instance

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

Islamic religion,

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

men always wear traditional clothes and

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

women always wear a black abaya to cover their bodies outside from men.

Also

, they have rice to eat

Change preposition

show examples

a daily routine. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

question. On balance,

however

, I tend to believe that children should learn their own

history

of their country first in the

mean

Correct your spelling

meanwhile

show examples

while

, getting older they can learn about different histories and cultures.

Submitted by rinadmohammed3 on Wed Jun 19 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Try to enhance the logical flow of your arguments by providing clear transitions between points. For example, use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'On the contrary' to improve cohesion between paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. A well-detailed example can make your argument stronger and more convincing.

Task Achievement

Ensure your essay maintains a formal tone throughout. Avoid informal phrases and ensure grammatical correctness.

Task Achievement

Review sentence structure and grammar to avoid small errors. For instance, 'While their younger' should be 'while they are younger'.

Task Achievement

The essay covers both viewpoints effectively, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a strong introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay well.

Task Achievement

Your ability to understand and present multiple perspectives is commendable.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children should learn world history. Others believe that it is more important to learn the history of their own country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+