Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What measures can be done to address those problems?

All over the world, the class divisions between people have been one of the most essential problems.
While
there are some reasons for
this
gap, I would argue that the following measures can be taken action to tackle
this
issue. From one angle, there are several reasons why
this
trend is happening. The main one is that individuals who are in poverty cannot fully use their intellectual abilities. To explain, the rich always try to make a profit, using their skills and opportunities efficiently, which leads to an increase in their wealth more and more. The poor,
however
, are afraid of taking a risk
due to
uncertainty of whether their plans are achieved or not when opportunity doors open to them.
As a result
, the class division rate between them is expanding more and more.
According to
the survey recently carried out, about 10 per cent of people who took part in the survey said that they are never afraid of risking
while
setting up and running their own business so they make more profits than those who are unwilling to commence. From another perspective, in order to narrow
this
gap, governments should assist the public in poverty.
That is
,
firstly
, they must create more job places by building new factories, which helps the poor to move to the middle class as it is considered to be a root of society.
Secondly
, the young are urged to learn and study how to manage money and to handle financial problems. Because of
this
, in the future, they can know how to treat with currency.
Finally
, entrepreneurs who help to reduce the number of unemployed are to be given tax benefits. In conclusion,
although
poor people regard investing money into business as a risk, I believe that they may take more income, using financial knowledge.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly with clear transitions. This can help the reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to better support your main points. This can strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas and presenting them in a clearer, more comprehensive manner. This can help fully convey your message to the reader.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. This is beneficial for the overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the problems and the measures that can be taken.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and show a good understanding of the issues related to the gap between rich and poor.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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